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How to survive a cheating husband

2010-04-21T08:56:00.000-07:00

After the recent glut of adulterous celebrity husbands, Celia Walden presents a guide as to how a deceived woman should best conduct herself

There is no word for a female cuckold in the Oxford English Dictionary. A man cheated on by his wife becomes emasculated, an object of derision – the victim of a phenomenon which is hilarious by virtue of its (supposed) rarity. But when a man cheats on a woman, is it so commonplace that it doesn’t deserve its own term?

The glut of recent celebrity scandals would have us think so. In the past fortnight alone, Oscar-winner Sandra Bullock’s husband, Jesse James, is alleged to have cheated on her with a heavily tattooed glamour model, and Kate Winslet and Sam Mendes have brought their marriage to a close – with sources citing Mendes’s “close friendship” with Rebecca Hall, a young actress, as the cause.

The philanderer’s pile-up started last December, when Tiger Woods was revealed to have “transgressed” at least a dozen times against his Swedish wife, Elin Nordegren. Then John Terry, the England football captain, prompted by a tabloid exposé, confessed to a fling with a team-mate’s girlfriend. Soon afterwards, singer Cheryl Cole announced that she was leaving her husband Ashley after fresh allegations of his infidelity.

Male adultery, of course, is nothing new, particularly in the celebrity world, but while our female forebears tended to follow an unwritten code (dignity and discretion being paramount) when the unthinkable happened, feminism has muddied the waters. Nowadays, columnists lambast “doormat wives” who take their husbands back (Toni Terry) and victims who profit (Cheryl Cole) alike. So how does a woman survive the affair with style?

“Little has been written about those first few hours or days after you discover your husband’s affair,” says Ruth Houston, author of Is He Cheating on You? “First it’s important to focus on what you shouldn’t do. Most women let fear, anger, hurt or a desire for revenge compel them to do things they later regret.” A reaction etiquette bible, Debrett’s, frowns upon. “Civil and dignified behaviour is usually a sensible approach,” explains adviser, Jo Bryant. “It may sound very British, but family and friends will admire your stoical behaviour. One should avoid public displays of emotion that may embarrass others.”

But isn’t it possible to be vengeful with panache? Who can forget Sally Graham-Moon’s gloriously choreographed retaliation: she cut up her husband’s Savile Row suits, poured white paint over his blue BMW and deposited bottles of his vintage claret on neighbours’ doorsteps? While not exactly civil, the element of calculation did prevent it from seeming either hysterical or undignified.

The same cannot be said of more vicious acts of revenge: Lorena Bobbit, most will agree, went a little too far, while the bags of fertiliser sent by Rachel Royce to the Spectator offices on hearing of her husband Rod Liddle’s affair with the receptionist were neither witty or stylish. Perhaps the act was simply too self-aware, accompanied, as it was, by 2,600-words in the Daily Mail headlined: “My cheating husband Rod, 10 bags of manure and me the bunny boiler. As for the Slapper… she’s welcome to him.”

According to Debrett’s, Royce committed two cardinal sins here: discussing the affair in public, and referring to the other woman – however obliquely (a trend started by Diana, Princess of Wales, when she told Martin Bashir that “there were three of us in this marriage”).

“Be discreet about who you talk to,” counsels Bryant. “Don’t bore casual acquaintances with the sins of your partner. Reserve your bitterest recriminations for close, trustworthy friends; long tales about your situation will soon have you struck off the dinner-party guest list.” Which would condemn Mia Farrow (who accused her husband Woody Allen of molesting their seven-year-old adoptive daughter, Dylan, after he left her for another adoptive daughter, Soon-Yi) and cheating TV presenter Chris Tarrant’s wife Ingrid, who broadcasted his sexual shortcomings on live television – and claiming he often went to bed smelling of fish – to a lifetime of TV meals for one.

Humour, however, can render that rule obsolete. Ivana Trump built a whole repertoire, a brand even, on witticisms concerning her husband Donald’s adultery, starting with the marvellous: “Don’t get mad. Get everything.” Meanwhile Alan Clark’s wife, Caroline Jane, used an array of disparaging one-liners to diffuse her own heartbreak. When details of Clarke’s seduction of a South African judge’s wife and two daughters hit the press, she famously declared: “If you bed people of below-stairs class, they will go to the papers.” Which tells you a lot about her would-be aristocratic husband. “If you are going to speak out,” Debrett’s agrees, “a little humour and self-deprecation may help.”

There are four basic choices available to the cheated wife after the initial hurdles have been gracefully overcome. The most obvious is to take the reinvention route. “This is the time to remind your cheating, lying, waste-of-space husband exactly what a great woman he is in danger of losing,” says author and “infidelity analyst” Sarah Symonds. “Although your self-esteem will be at it’s lowest, never show him that. Even if you don’t feel like it, you must walk around with your head held high under a perfect coiffure, swap the flat shoes for high heels and – if your eyes are puffy from crying – get those 'affair sunglasses’ on, like Cheryl Cole.” First-timers should beware implications (“I understand why you bedded the receptionist: I was a stone and a half overweight, my hair was lank and I didn’t know what a bandage dress was”) of such an overhaul.

The cheated wife could also be French about it and rise above the infidelity by engaging in a little intrigue of her own, like Nicolas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni, or Charles and Diana. “Don’t play victim,” urges author Kathy Lette. “Go and dance naked on a table with a toy boy.” Whether younger, richer or cleverer, it’s essential to trade up, says Symonds. “If your husband had the need to fall into the arms of another partner, you may need to cry on the younger, broader shoulders of another.”

She could be pragmatic, like the Duchess of Devonshire, and enjoy the fact that her spouse is still desired by others (“Of course people can have affairs in their marriages; how can you expect someone to have a lot of spunk if they don’t have a bit of life of their own?”).

The other option is to become one of the long line of cheated women in history to follow the “keep calm and carry on” precept. Typified by Jackie O (the First Lady turned a blind eye to JFK’s indiscretions), this unflappable brigade tends to come out best. Victoria Beckham has always refused to acknowledge her husband David’s alleged dalliance with Rebecca Loos, while Hillary Clinton got through her annus horribilis by adhering to the “duck method” (appearing serene while a frenzy of kicking goes on beneath the surface).

House-proud Pauline Prescott’s reaction to news that John had bedded his aide was to go ahead with a plan to have “a lovely loo put in my hall”, despite her husband’s suggestion she postpone the building work. “The photographers caught the plumber coming in with the loo,” she says in her autobiography, Smile Though Your Heart is Breaking. “And the headline was 'Everything’s going down the pan at the Prescotts’!”

It comes down to making your own decision about whether to stand by your man. “So many women are egged on by a coven of so-called friends who are unconsciously jealous,” says writer Mary Killen. “No one is asking the woman to put up with public humiliation but she should not let herself be a puppet of the public, the press or her girlfriends.

“In the celebrity world, it is never wrong to stand by your man,” adds Symonds, “especially if there is the chance of a book deal. Many showbiz marriages are a corporation from the start; more a 'merger’ than a marriage. The “merger wife” tends to know about her husband’s indiscretions, so her main focus – upon exposure – will be to gloss over them publicly. My advice to those who do stand by their man: make sure you make his life hell, while siphoning off enough of his money to be able to move on to a new – and better – life without him one day.”

Nuns fight nightclub over 'immoral' lapdancing

2010-01-24T04:49:00.000-08:00

A group of nuns are fighting to stop a nightclub introducing strippers opposite their convent.

The sisters have warned that the 'immoral' entertainment could lead youths into temptation.

They said teenagers had already started to take an interest in advertisements for 'exotic dancing' and 'striptease to music' nights.

The Society of St Margaret nuns in Uckfield, East Sussex, are leading a revolt alongside 50 residents.

They fear the Broadway nightclub could circumvent tough new licensing laws designed to crack down on lapdancing venues.

Under the rules to come in this year, nightclubs and bars that apply to run striptease events on just 11 nights a year will avoid new regulations.

Sister Shirley Jepson said: 'Can we suppose the "dancing", entertainment and films are going to be morris men and Julie Andrews?'

Richard Calderbank, manager director of Ambassador Leisure Services, said the club was 'well run'.

3 Lifestyle Habits Boost Your Sex Drive

2010-01-10T07:29:00.000-08:00

1. Get plenty of exercise

If you want to be "hot-blooded," then improve your circulation. Physical fitness can increase blood flow, which in theory can make sex more pleasurable since sexual arousal for both men and women involves increased blood flow to the genital area. And that can increase desire itself—if it feels great, you tend to want to do it more.

Exercise boosts endorphins, which lift your mood, and it can increase your energy. Not to mention that being toned makes some people feel sexier.

2. Eat a healthy diet

Arteries clogged with saturated fat don't bring as much blood to the genital area for arousal purposes. Hence the correlation between heart disease and erectile dysfunction.

But excess weight also messes with your hormones. "Obesity can shift the balance between estrogen and testosterone," says Michael Krychman, MD, executive director of the Southern California Center for Sexual Health and Survivorship Medicine in Newport Beach, Calif. And low testosterone can bring down your sex drive.

Nutrition counts too. For example, an iron deficiency can lead to fatigue, which in turn can lead to low libido. (Eat your broccoli!)

3. Manage your stress

"How about a simple vacation? How about communicating with your partner?" suggests Irwin Goldstein, MD, director of San Diego Sexual Medicine and editor in chief of The Journal of Sexual Medicine. "People are overworked and stressed, and they translate their overworked, stressed lives to a lousy sex life."

2 Ways to Make Condoms Sexy

2010-01-09T09:17:00.000-08:00

2 Ways to Make Condoms Sexy

Some people just won't have sex without a condom—but find themselves encountering sex partners who need a little coaxing. Here are two suggestions for turning the routine into something sexy by getting everyone involved.

1. Have your partner put it on
Ralph Diaz (not his real name), 37, of New York City, says, "It makes it more intimate if someone else puts the condom on for you," says Diaz. "Because it's someone else's touch."

2. Make it an oral sex bonus
Carmen Donovan (not her real name), 27, of Los Angeles, likes putting the condom on her sex partners during oral sex. "Guys are less likely to complain if they are super turned on," she says. "And that way I can be sure that the condom is on correctly and less likely to break."

Men sex think 5,000 times in a year

2010-01-08T07:19:00.000-08:00

Men think about sex almost 5,000 times a year – but only get down to doing it 104 times, a new study has found.

Researchers found the average male turns their thoughts to sexual intercourse 13 times a day – a total of 4,745 times every year.

Almost a third even admitted it is often the first thing they think about when they wake up in the mornings.

In comparison, women think about sex just five times day – or 1,825 times a year.

But when it comes to actually having sex, men have to make do with it an average of just twice a week, or 104 times a year.

A spokesman for market research company www.Onepoll.com said: ''Men are well-known for thinking about sex a lot, but to find out exactly how often is staggering.

''It seems blokes have sex on the brain whether they are going through a dry spell or jumping between the sheets on a regular basis.

''They can't even get away from the sexy thoughts when they first wake up in the morning.

''So when you catch your man staring into space, you know what he's likely to be thinking about.''

The study of 3,000 people also showed that despite the difference in the amount of times men think about sex and actually do it, almost three quarters claim they are happy about the amount of sex they were getting.

But just 58 per cent of women said the same.

And 43 per cent of couples also admitted arguing over who instigates the lovemaking, with men most likely to make the first move.

Researchers also found one in three guys think a candlelit dinner is the best way of getting a woman in the mood, followed by a relaxing massage.

But women are more likely to play romantic music or cook their partner's favourite meal to try and get them into bed.

Nvidia Delays Fermi to March 2010

2009-12-31T06:51:00.000-08:00

Nvidia has selected the launch date for its next-generation DirectX 11-supporting GPU (Fermi) to be March, 2010, while AMD will launch more GPUs in January-February, according to sources from graphics card makers. Nvidia also plans to have a live demo of the product at CES in January.

According to market rumors, Nvidia had originally scheduled the launch of Fermi for November 2009 but then delayed the planned launch until CES in January 2010 due to defects. However,the sources stated that Nvidia recently notified graphics card makers that the official launch will be in March 2010, which is consistent with previous Nvidia comments that the product will begin shipping in the first quarter of 2010.

Commenting on the news, Nvidia stated that its planned schedule of product shipping in the first quarter 2010 remains unchanged and any rumors of defects are completely false.

Nvidia plans to launch a 40nm GDDR5 memory-based Fermi-GF100 GPU in March, and will launch a GF104 version in the second quarter to target the high-end market with its GeForce GTX295/285/275/260, the sources pointed out.

For performance level markets, Nvidia will allow its GeForce GTS250, GT240/220 and 9800GT/9500GT defend against AMD's Radeon HD 5770/5750, 4870/4850 and 4670/4650.

For the mainstream market, Nvidia will mainly push its GeForce 210.

Meanwhile, AMD will launch 40nm Radeon HD 5670/5570 (Redwood) and HD 5450 (Cedar) GPUs at the end of January or in February 2010, the sources noted.

In related news, although Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing Company's (TSMC's) 40nm process yields have already improved, capacity is still not sufficient to supply the two GPU giants fully which may have an impact the launch schedules, the sources added.

AMD did not respond by the time of publication.

China's last tiger is eaten

2009-12-26T06:55:00.000-08:00

The man was sentenced to 12 years in jail, local media reported. Kang Wannian, a villager from Mengla, Yunnan Province, met the tiger in February while gathering freshwater clams in a nature reserve near China's border with Laos. He claimed to have killed it in self-defence.

The only known wild Indochinese tiger in China, photographed in 2007 at the same reserve, has not been seen since Kang's meal, the Yunnan-based newspaper Life News reported earlier this month.

The paper quoted the provincial Forestry Bureau as saying there was no evidence the tiger was the last one in China.

A local court sentenced Kang to 10 years for killing a rare animal plus two years for illegal possession of firearms, the local web portal Yunnan.cn reported. Prosecutors said Kang did not need a gun to gather clams.

Four villagers who helped Kang dismember the tiger and ate its meat were also sentenced from three to four years for "covering up and concealing criminal gains", the report said.

The Indochinese tiger is on the brink of extinction, with fewer than 1,000 left in the forests of Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand and Myanmar.

Facebook fuelling divorce

2009-12-23T05:15:00.000-08:00

Facebook is being cited in almost one in five of online divorce petitions, lawyers have claimed.

Suspicious spouses have also used the websites to find evidence of flirting and even affairs which have led to divorce

The social networking site, which connects old friends and allows users to make new ones online, is being blamed for an increasing number of marital breakdowns.

Divorce lawyers claim the explosion in the popularity of websites such as Facebook and Bebo is tempting to people to cheat on their partners.

Suspicious spouses have also used the websites to find evidence of flirting and even affairs which have led to divorce.

One law firm, which specialises in divorce, claimed almost one in five petitions they processed cited Facebook.

Mark Keenan, Managing Director of Divorce-Online said: "I had heard from my staff that there were a lot of people saying they had found out things about their partners on Facebook and I decided to see how prevalent it was I was really surprised to see 20 per cent of all the petitions containing references to Facebook.

"The most common reason seemed to be people having inappropriate sexual chats with people they were not supposed to."

Flirty emails and messages found on Facebook pages are increasingly being cited as evidence of unreasonable behaviour.

Computer firms have even cashed in by developing software allowing suspicious spouses to electronically spy on someone's online activities.

One 35-year-old woman even discovered her husband was divorcing her via Facebook.

Conference organiser Emma Brady was distraught to read that her marriage was over when he updated his status on the site to read: "Neil Brady has ended his marriage to Emma Brady."

Last year a 28-year-old woman ended her marriage after discovering her husband had been having a virtual affair with someone in cyberspace he had never met.

Amy Taylor 28, split from David Pollard after discovering he was sleeping with an escort in the game Second Life, a virtual world where people reinvent themselves.

Around 14 million Britons are believed to regularly use social networking sites to communicate with old friends or make new ones.

The popularity of the Friends Reunited website several years ago was also blamed for a surge in divorces as bored husbands and wives used it to contact old flames and first loves.

The UK’s divorce rate has fallen in recent years, but two in five marriages are still failing according the latest statistics.

Mr Keenan believes that the general divorce rate will rocket in 2010 with the recession taking the blame.

Young mum sex with boy

2009-12-22T05:24:00.000-08:00

A MUM who had sex sessions with a 15-year-old schoolboy while her partner was at work has been jailed for two years.

Alexandra Brown, 24, started the affair, claiming she was at a "low ebb" after being left alone with her four-year-old son.

She kissed the teenager in the kitchen of her home in Darlington, Co Durham, and the next day invited him into her bedroom, saying: "I think you know why."

Teesside Crown Court heard Brown became so infatuated with the lad she ended her five-year relationship with partner, Ian Henry, 34.

Brown admitted having sex with the teenager, who cannot be named for legal reasons, between ten and 15 times during the summer.

After the fling ended it is alleged he demanded money, threatening to go to the police unless she paid up. He has been charged with blackmail.

Brown was also banned from working with children and put on the sex offenders' register.

Parents pose as their 11-year-old daughter to snare Facebook paedophile grooming her for sex

2009-12-22T05:14:00.000-08:00

The parents of an 11-year-old girl posed as their child on the internet to snare a paedophile who they discovered was grooming her for sex.
The pair took over the girl's Facebook account and, pretending to be her, lured perverted Thomas Gibbs into a trap.
Today the 52-year-old was behind bars, starting a 16-month jail term.
A judge heard how the couple became concerned about online conversations between their young daughter and another person.

They stepped in and assumed her internet identity as they realised the correspondent's depraved intentions.
Gibbs suggested meeting the 'young girl' and turned up on two occasions for the arranged rendezvous.
On the first occasion the girl's mother and other relatives watched him, noting his appearance, but did not contact him.
After the second time the predator was arrested.
Gibbs was jailed at Oxford Crown Court after admitting two counts of meeting a child following sexual grooming.
Prosecutor Jennifer Edwards explained how the family took matters into their own hands.
She said the victim was using a laptop in the living room when her mother's suspicions were suddenly aroused.
'She saw over the little girl's shoulder and immediately appreciated she was communicating with Mr Gibbs,' she said.
She said Gibbs was commenting on the girl's profile picture and said he wanted to kiss her, writing: 'I really like you' and 'I want to meet you.'
Mrs Edwards said the mother then took over the laptop and continued to chat to Gibbs posing as her daughter.
The family alerted the police immediately but carried on communicating with him.
'The contact continued for the following week. Each time her daughter went onto the computer Mr Gibbs was there ready, willing to respond,' said Mrs Edwards.
When Gibbs from Witney, Oxfordshire, suggested meeting, the girl's mother continued the pretence and arranged to see him in Witney town centre at noon on April 18.
Family members saw him in the area but did not confront him.
The next time he was on Facebook they agreed to another meeting at 7pm in Carterton, Oxfordshire, on April 30, and Gibbs was arrested.
Mark Dixon, defending, said there was no discussion of sex itself in the communication.
However, he conceded: 'It has caused the family hell and he (Gibbs) accepts responsibility and guilt for that.'
Gibbs was jailed for 16 months and ordered to sign onto the sex offenders' register for at least five years.
Outside court, the girl's mother said: 'We knew once we'd got involved she was 100 per cent safe and she's a very bright girl but you obviously think about all the others that could have been targeted.
'When it first happened she didn't want to go out but now she knows it's all over and he won't be able to do this to any other families.'
She added: 'It does make me more wary of Facebook and parents should be aware of what their children are doing on the internet.'
Detective Constable Jon Capps said: 'I would like to pay tribute to the family who have prevented any further offences being committed, as well as the young girl who was brave enough to tell her parents.'

Boy alive crushed between two escalators

2009-12-18T23:10:00.000-08:00

A four-year-old boy had his young age to thank after surviving a horrifying accident that saw him crushed between two escalators.

Doctors said that had Stevie Webb been older, his neck would have been snapped when he was bent double in the foot-wide gap between two ramp-style travelators.

The incident occurred when Stevie's mother turned her back and he sneaked between the two walkways, which were moving in opposite directions, in the Savacentre in Colliers Wood, south-west London.

Lucky escape: Stevie Webb was caught between two travelators at a south-west London shopping centre

In seconds his clothes were caught and Stevie was whipped round backwards so hard his head was level with his ankles.

His horrified mother hit the machine's emergency stop button before dragging him free with the help of a friend.

The force of the impact and twisting motion left Stevie with discoloured eyes and face because blood vessels burst under the skin.

Doctors told Stevie's parents that had their son been any older, and his bones more set, the force of the accident would have snapped his neck.

It is expected to take at least a month for Stevie's complexion to return to normal.

An investigation has now been launched at the Savacentre.

On the road to recovery: Stevie will regain full health, but doctors say if he had been older his injuries would have been fatal

Stevie's father Darren Webb, 39, from Mitcham, Surrey, said his son's injuries were so severe he resembled the blue-purple alien characters from the film 'Avatar'.

He said: 'It's left him looking like an extra out of that new Avatar film. He doesn't have any white left in his eyes and it could be months until the colour in his face goes back to normal.

'The doctors said he'd been incredibly lucky because his neck and body were so contorted. It's only because he's so young and supple that his neck didn't break.'

Mr Webb was in the centre's car park waiting to pick up his family when the accident happened. He immediately rushed unconscious Stevie to St George's Hospital, Tooting, less than a mile away.

But Mr Webb said he was planning to take legal action against the centre after its manager refused to take responsibility for the accident, claiming the boy's mother was not watching him at the time.

Mr Webb, who has spoken to centre manager Eric Sante and watched CCTV footage of the accident, said: 'I'll put my hands up and agree my child was playing while his mum's back was turned - but four-year-olds do that sort of thing.

'There was no kind of protection or barrier to stop this from happening but the shopping centre manager still wants to make out that this is our fault.

'It's unbelievable - my son nearly died.'

Horrific accident: Travelators at the Savacentre (no members of the Webb family are pictured)

Mr Sante said: 'Mr Webb came in on Monday screaming and demanding to see CCTV footage which we let him do.

'I sat him down and apologised but told him I was in no position to accept responsibility for what happened.'

He added the CCTV footage showed Stevie playing next to the travelator while his mother was on the phone.

The incident has already been referred to the shopping centre's legal team.

MB Trust, which manages the area where the walkways operate, said it was officially checked twice a year and the most recent check was in November.

Juliet Bray, marketing director of MB Real Estate, an arm of MB Trust, said: 'It's a horrible incident and I can't imagine how upsetting it must have been for the parents and the little boy.

'I'm confident that we've done what is needed to make it safe. I'm very moved and I know that all of my colleagues are too and they will take every step necessary to make sure this doesn't happen again.'

The travelator is situated near to the shopping centre's Sainsbury's store.

A Sainsbury's spokesman said: 'We would like to express our sympathies to the Webb family for this incident. We have been in contact with MB Real Estate who confirmed that they are taking every possible step to prevent something like this happening again.

'As soon as our colleagues at the store were made aware of the accident they began to give first aid and also called an ambulance.'

Two boys, aged 10, charged for raping a girl in a park

2009-12-17T05:44:00.000-08:00

Two 10-year-old boys have been charged with the rape of an eight-year-old girl in west London.

The alleged sex attack relates to an incident in a park off College Way, Hayes, west London, in October.

Scotland Yard said the pair would appear before magistrates in Uxbridge today.

The schoolgirl was said to have been playing with the boys when the alleged attack happened during half-term school holidays.

She went with the boys to College Park in Hayes to play on the climbing frame and swings close to Hayes Community Campus, which is part of Uxbridge College.

The children were not being supervised by any adults, detectives said at the time.

The young girl, who cannot be named for legal reasons, said she was taken to bushes at the edge of the park where she was sexually assaulted in broad daylight.

The two boys are alleged to have taken turns raping her.

Afterwards, the young girl ran home to tell her parents. Horrified, they alerted police and two boys were arrested hours later.

A Met police spokesman said the charges were made following advice from the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS).

The alleged attack was investigated by officers from the Met's specialist Sapphire Unit.

The recently re-organised unit is part of the Specialist Crime Directorate.

It is run by detectives specially trained in child sex offences who have recently interviewed the young girl.

Coffee and tea reduce risk of diabetes

2009-12-16T11:49:00.000-08:00

Drinking coffee and tea can reduce the chances of developing type 2 diabetes, research has suggested.

People who drink more coffee and tea get protection against the disease, which is often caused by being overweight.

Researchers in Australia found people who drink three to four cups of coffee a day had a 25 per cent lower risk of type 2 diabetes than those who drank none or only one or two cups a day.

The effect is not due to caffeine as those who drank decaffeinated coffee showed similar results.

Tea drinkers also showed some protective effects with those who drank more than three to four cups of tea a day were at a one fifth lower risk of developing the disease.

The analysis of 18 previous studies involving a total of almost 450,000 people, is published in the journal Archives of Internal Medicine. The effects remained even when the researchers took into account other factors that can cause diabetes.

It is thought compounds in coffee and tea including magnesium and antioxidants may be involved.

Lead author Rachel Huxley, of The George Institute for International Health, University of Sydney, Australia, wrote: “If such beneficial effects were observed in interventional trials to be real, the implications for the millions of individuals who have diabetes mellitus, or who are at future risk of developing it, would be substantial.

“For example, the identification of the active components of these beverages would open up new therapeutic pathways for the primary prevention of diabetes mellitus. It could also be envisaged that we will advise our patients most at risk for diabetes mellitus to increase their consumption of tea and coffee in addition to increasing their levels of physical activity and weight loss.”

Dr Carrie Ruxton, nutritionist and scientific advisor to the Tea Advisory Panel, said: "If tea proves to be beneficial in helping to reduce the risk of diabetes, this is very good news for the large number of people in the UK who enjoy drinking black tea. "Moreover, drinking three to four cups of tea a day or more is likely to produce health benefit, not only in relation to diabetes, but also for heart health.”

How to stop bad sex and go for better sex

2009-12-16T00:25:00.000-08:00

Most of us are looking for a quick fix to our sexual dilemmas. We want a pill, a DVD, or a series of complex finger movements that will magically make us less anxious and more confident about exposing our true sexual selves.

Of course no such magic pill exists. In the end the quality of the consensual sex we have is mostly in our own hands (literally and/or figuratively). There may not be one way to have good sex, but I do believe there are a few sure fire ways to not get what you want sexually, and to increase the chances of having bad sex. Here are my top ten ways to have bad sex.

Compare Yourself to Others : Sexuality may be the most subjective aspect of human experience. Forget the magazine quizzes and six step sex books, there is simply no meaningful way to compare yourself to a stranger when it comes to your sexuality. Plus, everyone lies about sex anyway. Comparing yourself to others will give you nothing but grief. If you want to do something useful for your sex life, focus on yourself and anyone you're having sex with, and don't turn away.

Ignore Your Body : The idea of a perfect body is a fiction. None of us have perfect bodies. But we're inundated with pieced together visions of beauty that we all compare ourselves to an unattainable ideal. In response many of us turn away from our bodies, pretend they, we, aren't there. But whatever your body is like, you sexuality is part of it, and you ignore your body at the expense of genuine sexual pleasure and empowerment. It's not easy, but working with the body you've got is one crucial part of improving your sex life.

Only Listen to the Experts : If you really want to have bad sex do every thing sex experts tell you to do. It's not that people with expertise don't have something to offer (I hope), but in practice sexuality is so personal and unique that the final expert must be you and/or the people you're having sex with. Sexual growth comes from paying attention to your own experience, your own feelings, and your own body first. Once you can do that then it's worth listening to what others have to say and deciding what of their advice rings true for you.

Stop Paying Attention : Sexuality is as much about awareness as it is about action. From birth to death, our bodies and minds never stop changing, growing, and developing. This means our sexuality never stops changing either. When you stop paying attention to your most personal sexual feelings and experiences, you shut yourself off from that change, and from aspects of your sexual self. The goal is to become less sexually ignorant as we age, not more.

Grow Up, Get Serious : Sex is the closest thing adults have to the kind of play we engaged in when we were kids. While sex can be about all sorts of grown up things (having kids, making love, transcending duality, etc...) it can also just be a rollicking good time. If you make sex just one more thing that's serious and routine, and only done in "reasonable" ways, you lose much of the power and magic of sex in our lives.

Believe That Ignorance Is Bliss : We all live with a certain level of sexual ignorance. This ignorance keeps us at risk of many things; risk of bad sex, risk of STDs, risk of too many regretful moments. If you want to maintain that level of risk, just keep up your level of ignorance. If you want to turn the tide then get out there and learn something about sex that's relevant to your own life from someone who is qualified to teach you.

Confuse Sex Entertainment With Sex Education : Most of the books and magazine articles you read about sex are written by people with two qualifications; they look hip and they live in New York. Sex entertainment (movies, adult workshops, sex toy stores) can be a fun way to explore your options. But it isn't the same thing as sex education or sex therapy. If you're feeling good about your sex life but want more, sex entertainment may offer a quick boost. But if you're feeling genuinely stuck and distressed about your sexuality or your sex life, be sure to turn to a qualified sex educator, counselor, or therapist.

Keep a Closed Mind : Making the arbitrary decision that however you're having sex right now is the only way to have sex is another guaranteed route to sexual disappointment. Regardless of political and religious beliefs, there are countless ways to express and experience your sexuality. You don't need to throw out your principles or blur your boundaries to have better sex. You just need to be creative, which is kind of the opposite of being narrow-minded.

Act Like Sex Is Something Special : Our sexuality is linked to all aspects of our lives; our health, our families, our jobs and retirement, everything. In this way, sex isn't really anything special; it's every day and everywhere. It follows that if you want to change your sex life in a substantial way you have to change other aspects of your life as well. But when you segregate sex from the rest of your life, whether that means putting it on a pedestal or in an old shoe box, you reduce your chances of change, and cut off awareness that can help you grow sexually.

Let Fear Be Your Guide : Sex is scary. Partly because we know so little, and partly because sex demands we give up control and expose ourselves. As a result many of us make a preemptive retreat. We don't talk about our desires, we don't tell our partners what we really want to do, or even what we fantasize about doing but would never want to do in real life. We keep ourselves hidden and collude with partners by not pushing them too much. Oftentimes fear is a reasonable response. But if you're in a safe relationship where there is trust, the more you let fear be your guide, the less you'll get out of the sexual relationship.

Drunk men force wives into sex

2009-12-15T03:00:00.000-08:00

Drunk men who force their wives or girlfriends to have sex should be prosecuted for rape, the head of a Government inquiry into sex crime said yesterday.

Drinking by the man should be considered an 'aggravating factor' when any woman makes a complaint of rape, said Baroness Stern.

She added: 'Being drunk is voluntary and people who become drunk are responsible for their actions.

Baroness Stern has warned that alcohol cannot be used as an excuse for rape (picture posed by models)

It is not the alcohol that commits the rape. It is not an excuse. It used to be regarded as such, but it is not.'

Her call for police, prosecutors and the courts to consider how much alcohol a man has consumed raised the prospect of a 'sex breathalyser' that would help decide when sex has become a crime.

A similar idea has already been put forward by ministers, who said it should be a crime for a man to have sex with a woman who was very drunk. Judges quashed the plan.

But Lady Stern also told the London Evening Standard a drunken woman was not 'fair game' for men.

The former prison reform campaigner is running an inquiry for Women and Equality Minister Harriet Harman into the way rape complaints are handled by police, the Crown Prosecution Service and other public authorities.

Ministers are concerned at the low conviction rate for rapes. They hope to encourage more women to make complaints and 'fairly' increase convictions.

Alcohol is thought to be involved in two out of three alleged rapes. Most also involve a man and a woman who know each other rather than an attack by a stranger.

In 2003 Ministers changed the definition of rape so a man had to show he had reasonable grounds to believe he had been given consent.

They argued that a woman who was very drunk was not capable of giving consent.

But a series of cases showed that juries were reluctant to convict a man on the word of an alleged victim who was drunk and Appeal Court judges ruled that even a drunken woman could still consent to sex.

Lady Stern's suggestion echoes comments by Victims' Champion Sara Payne earlier this month.

Mrs Payne said some people felt women were too often warned about the risk of rape if they drink too much.

In a report for the Home Office she said: 'The advertising we have had puts all the onus on the victim - it's "don't go out and get drunk, you might get raped". The onus needs to be on the man.'

But criminologist David Green, of the Civitas think-tank, warned that the law should not treat men and women differently.

'If a man is responsible for his conduct when drunk, so is a woman,' Dr Green said.

'The law must be applied equally. It is a choice to get drunk, but it follows that the consequence of that choice applies to both sides.'

How to time sex to get pregnant

2009-12-11T08:15:00.000-08:00

The ovulation period roughly lasts for 24-48 hours during a cycle. Sperms, on the other hand, live for around 3 to 5 days, and sometimes even longer. Therefore, there is only a very short time each month when you are most likely to conceive.

It may take up to a year to get pregnant, especially if your periods are infrequent or irregular, so there is no need to worry if you are not pregnant after a couple of months. You can use this time to enjoy yourself without using contraception.

When does ovulation take place during a cycle

A woman’s menstruation cycle is generally 28 days long, but could last anywhere between 25 to 35 days (or even longer). The cycle begins from the first day of menstruation and ends on the first day of the next menstruation. Roughly 14 days before the beginning of the next period, the woman’s body releases an egg. This egg generally lasts for 24-48 hours, known as the ovulating phase. If the egg is not fertilized (combined with a sperm) during this period, it is discarded by the body during menstruation. For a woman with a 28-day menstruation cycle, the ovulation period is approximately the 14th day of the cycle. For a woman with a 32-day cycle, ovulation will take place on the 18th day of the cycle.

Which are the most fertile days for a woman to conceive, and which are the safe days

The most fertile period of a woman with a regular 28 day cycle is between day 10 (rarely 9) and day 18. The human ovum is susceptible to fertilization for 24 hours after ovulation. The sperm ejaculated into the vagina can live upto 5 days but can fertilize an ovum only for about 3 days. In a 28-day cycle the unsafe period is from day 7 to 21.the chance of conception is minimum (10/100 women a year) when coitus is avoided during these days. The first day of menses can be marked on a calendar for 6 months. Then by subtracting 18 days from the shortest cycle & 11 days from the longest cycle we get the first and last day of the fertile period, thus coitus should be avoided during this period to avoid conception.

Does ovulation take place every menstrual cycle?

No, ovulation does not necessarily take place in every menstrual cycle. Even if your periods are regular, it is possible that you will not ovulate in a particular month. Painful periods generally imply that you had ovulated during that cycle. However, ovulation could take place even if the periods are not painful. How often should a couple engage in intercourse in order to conceive Too much sex or too little sex can cause problems in getting pregnant. In general, it is best to refrain from intercourse a few days before the ovulation period, so that the sperm count is high. Some doctors recommend that you have sex every alternate day during the fertile phase. Having sex everyday may reduce the sperm count.

Casual sex aren't emotionally damaging

2009-12-10T01:22:00.000-08:00

Casual sex, hookups aren't emotionally damaging, study finds

A surprising new study reveals that casual sex may not cause emotional or psychological damage.

Despite the pervasive belief that hooking up casually is detrimental to the well-being of young adults, researchers found that not to be the case in a recent study, reports the Minneapolis Star Tribune.

The study asked 1,311 Minnesota-based young adults, between the ages of 18 and 24, about their most recent sexual experiences, their self-esteem and their general well-being after the experience.

Only one-fifth of the subjects said their most recent experience was casual. And overall, their emotional status wasn’t any different from those who said their last sexual experience was with a committed partner.

“We were so surprised,” said Marla Eisenberg, who is an assistant professor at the university School of Public Health.

“The conventional wisdom is that casual sex, 'friends with benefits,' and hooking up is hurtful. That's what we've been teaching kids for decades,” she said, adding that abstinence-only sex education programs in particular enforce this notion.

However, researchers said that this doesn’t mean casual sex is for everyone - and Eisenberg is quick to warn of the physical consequences of casual sex. Rates of sexually transmitted diseases continue to increase and teen pregnancy rates in Minnesota in particular are also on the rise, according to the Star Tribune.

Women trying to get pregnant could be as likely to conceive by giving up alcohol and caffeine than by going to a fertility clinic

2009-12-07T23:17:00.000-08:00

Women wanting to become pregnant are as likely to succeed by giving up alcohol and caffeine than by attending a fertility clinic, a nutrition specialist claims.

Dr Emma Derbyshire said that 32 per cent of those having trouble conceiving became pregnant by giving up stimulants compared to 33 per cent after IVF treatment.

And she revealed that quitting smoking is as important as a healthy diet in improving a woman's fertility. Previous studies have shown that smoking can delay a woman's chances of getting pregnant by two months.

Dr Derbyshire, of Manchester Metropolitan University, said couples should tackle their unhealthy lifestyles first before choosing expensive fertility treatment.

'Women wanting to get pregnant stand nearly the same chance of conceiving if they cut out alcohol and caffeine as if they attend an IVF clinic for fertility treatment,' she said.

Dr Derbyshire said the odds of conceiving fall from 60 per cent in women who have one to five alcoholic drinks a week to 30 per cent for those consuming more than ten.

And she warned caffeine may also reduce a woman's chances of becoming pregnant, saying no more than 300mg - or three cups of coffee or tea - should be consumed in a day.

Research on miscarriage suggests caffeine might harm the unborn baby because it is easily passed from mother to foetus, who cannot readily metabolise it.

˜ The postcode lottery for fertility treatment on the Health Service is getting worse, a report by Tory MP Grant Shapps warns.

It found eight out of ten primary care trusts are failing to give childless couples the recommended quota of three IVF cycles.

And it said two trusts have refused to provide any IVF treatment in the past two years.

Women drinkers have better sex lives

2009-11-24T06:46:00.000-08:00

Women who drink red wine enjoy better sex lives, a study from the University of Florence in Italy has suggested.

Women who drink red wine enjoy better sex lives, an Italian university study has suggested

A study among Tuscan women discovered that one or two glasses a day could lead to a more fulfilling life in the bedroom.

Experts from the university questioned 800 women between 18 and 50 Santa Maria Annunziata Hospital about their sexual satisfaction.

Using the Female Sexual Function Index - which is used by doctors to assess women and sexual health - it emerged that drinkers scored higher than teetotallers.

The score is determined using factors including sexual arousal, orgasm, satisfaction and pain and ranges between two and 36, with higher scores meaning better sexual health.

Overall, women who drank two glasses a day scored an average of 27.3 points, compared to 25.9 for those who drank one glass and 24.4 for the non-drinkers.

The study's lead author, Dr Nicola Mondaini said: "Historically, the aspects of wine and sexuality have been well known since the time of Ancient Greece.

"But the field of female sexual dysfunction is still highly unexplored."

The study also found that older women enjoy a more fruitful sex life.

Female Viagra boosts women's libido

2009-11-17T06:53:00.000-08:00

The drug, flibanserin, did little to improve patients' mood, but did do wonders however for women's flagging sex drive, researchers found.

Results from a series of clinical trials showed "significant improvements" in a number of measures of libido among women who had lost interest in sex. Researchers have hailed it as a potential "Viagra for women".

The drug mimics serotonin and a certain forms of dopamine which are substances produced naturally in the body connected with mood, reward, and learning.

Women taking 100 milligrams of flibanserin once a day reported greater numbers of "satisfactory sexual encounters", higher levels of sexual desire, and reduced stress associated with sexual problems.

Professor John Thorp, from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, US, who led the research, said: "Flibanserin was a poor antidepressant.

"However, astute observers noted that it increased libido in laboratory animals and human subjects. So, we conducted multiple clinical trials and the women in our studies who took it for hypoactive sexual desire disorder reported significant improvements in sexual desire and satisfactory sexual experiences.

"It's essentially a Viagra-like drug for women in that diminished desire or libido is the most common feminine sexual problem, like erectile dysfunction is in men."

Viagra, which helps men overcome impotency, also began life with another purpose in mind. It was originally designed to treat angina, the chest pain associated with heart disease.

Scientists discovered that Viagra had the welcome side effect of helping the penis to fill with blood, thereby producing an erection.

Pooled results from three of four trials testing flibanserin's ability to boost women's sex drives were presented at the Congress of the European Society for Sexual Medicine in Lyon, France.

A total of 1,946 pre-menopausal women aged 18 and older were treated either with flibanserin or an inactive "dummy" placebo drug for 24 weeks.

Prof Thorp said the treatment could provide a new alternative for women without having to resort to hormones which can have side effects.

Plastic Surgery For Man Boobs

2009-11-17T05:44:00.000-08:00

Medical experts claim that somewhere between forty and fifty percent of men have had man boobs or gynecomastia at some point in their life journey. The condition is mainly caused by men having too much estrogen in their body leading to a hormonal imbalance. However it can easily be caused by obesity. In this day and age, it is very easy to get carried away with what we eat.

One way to get rid of man boobs is to have a plastic surgical procedure. The procedure is called gynecomastia surgery and involves the removal of the enlarged breasts using two methods: liposuction and excision. Liposuction involves the insertion of a tube into the chest area and the fat is sucked out using a suction force. Once the fat is gone, the surgeon will perform excision which involves the cutting away of breast tissue. This may involve removing the nipples and repositioning them for a more natural chest contour.

Before selecting a surgeon, be sure to do some research online and look for surgeons without any negative history. Also look for before and after photos of former patients. Surgery will end up costing you anywhere between five and ten thousand dollars which will include the surgery fee, the medical facility fee and the anesthesia fee. Almost one hundred percent of the surgeries are done with general anesthesia which means that you will go to sleep, and when you wake up, the surgery will be over. To aid the healing process, you will need to wear a compression vest for a couple of weeks.

Amazing Sexy Kissing Tips

2009-11-14T05:08:00.000-08:00

If she is laying down draw one of her arms above her head and lightly hold her hand. Commence by kissing the soft area on the inside of her upper arm - from her elbow down to her chest. For variation, trail the tip of your tongue in a zigzag down this area. This absolutely drives my wife crazy! (submitted by Troy)

Kiss her gently near the clavicle (colar bone), then run your tongue in a zig zag up to her ear very slowly. Give her earlobe a little nibble. It’s all in the neck guys… (submitted by Dave)

When you’re sitting close to your love, start out by softly stroking their face, slowly move your hand to their mouth then very lightly brush the lower lip with one of your fingers. If they seem to love this, then place the tip of that finger in their mouth. My boyfriend loves this, and sometimes he’ll start sucking my finger a bit. This leads to a great french kiss! (submitted by KC)

Gently kiss your partner on the neck, cheek, jaw, and slowly move closer to his/her lips. When you reach their lips, they will be all the more excited to kiss you! My boyfriend sometimes does this and it drives me crazy! (submitted by Christi)

Start by pouring a glass of wine. Take a few sips to get the taste in your mouth. When you lead him to bed, bring the wine with you. While kissing him, dip your finger in the wine. Trace his lips and mouth with your wine-soaked finger and lick the wine off slowly and gently. Take your time. Kissing can be very erotic. (submitted by Heather)

I play a kissing game with my wife. The object of the game is to make your partner try to kiss you. This could be done by lightly kissing her neck, breathing into her ear, kissing her cheeks, and lightly kissing her lips. Whoever lasts the longest wins! (submitted by Guntes)

Sensually whisper something a litte bit naughty in their ear such as “I want you…” or make up your own. Let them feel your breath next to their ear, then kiss it and gently nibble it. Move down towards their neck and back up to their lips. This drives my husband crazy! (submitted by Gloria)

When kissing…try to catch his/her upper lip between your lips as you’re closing your mouth, and suck lightly before letting go. (submitted by Ryan)

When kissing really passionately, stroke the nape of his neck with your fingers. (submitted by Beth)

Think of why you like certain body parts of your love, or why you love to kiss those body parts. For each area, give them a quick kiss there, then whisper why you love that part. Move up and down their body sprinkling them with kisses and sweet words. (submitted by Nora)

Chinese university sets up patrols to stop students kissing

2009-11-12T21:54:00.000-08:00

Chinese university sets up patrols to stop students kissing

The patrols at Nanjing Forestry University watch out for couples who are hugging, kissing or sitting too close to each other.

The university says the patrols will "clean up the atmosphere" on campus.

Teachers supervise the patrols, which are staffed by fellow student volunteers working two-hour shifts.

On the college's internet bulletin boards one woman describes how she and her boyfriend were sitting together when a patrol spotted them. The patrol member got behind them and kept coughing until they moved apart.

Others complain that the university authorities should spend their time managing the institution, not regulating young lovers, and speak of their shame at the publicity the crackdown has generated.

In one of the complaints, student Gui Ya, says: "The news is spreading over the internet. It's like being naked and shown to the public."

And a colleague with the user name Raymondxiao moans: "The action is a shame. The university is not going to be a real university."

Another bulletin board complaint from Yi Fu Jia Da Po Tou says: "There are no human rights on this issue."

Volunteers who turn a blind eye to an infraction are said to face penalties themselves, although calls to the university to confirm this went unanswered.

Need Better Sperm than Ejaculate Daily

2009-11-10T19:13:00.000-08:00

Sex works on the principle of positive feed back: more sex just improves our 'performance'. A team from Sydney University says that men with damaged sperm should have sex daily to increase the chances of getting their partner pregnant. In many cases, couples with fertility issues abstain from sex for several days to boost sperm numbers before trying to conceive.

But the new research claims that this could mean
lower-quality sperm. The Australian team investigated 42 men whose sperm had been discovered to have an abnormal shape after microscopical investigations. The subjects were required to ejaculate each day for seven days, and these sperms were compared with those collected from them after three days of abstinence.

Except for five cases, all the subjects presented less sperm damage in their samples coming after daily ejaculation, compared to the post-abstention samples. Dr Allan Pacey, the secretary of the British Fertility Society, agrees that daily sex could improve sperm quality in men with sperm issues.

"While not having sex allowed the numbers of sperm to build up, there was a "trade-off" between quality and quantity. This research shows that when you put people on a daily ejaculation regime, it reduces the figure for DNA damage. If you can go from 30% to 20% that is quite a big shift and that should have some implications for fertility. There are men out there who think, or whose partners think, that limiting ejaculation will make them more fertile.", said Pacey.

"I remember one couple in which the woman would only let the man ejaculate when she was in her fertile period, so the poor chap was going without for almost a month at a time. If a couple was initially trying to get pregnant, an interval of two to three days was probably advisable - whereas a man with high DNA damage and a "decent" sperm count should try more often.", he added.

Girl is allergic to husband's sperm on their wedding night

2009-11-09T02:41:00.000-08:00

A newlywed couple fear they will be unable to have a baby after they discovered the wife was allergic to her husband's semen. Julie Boyde, 26, discovered the problem when she and husband Mike, 27, had unprotected sexual intercourse for the first time on their wedding night.

The couple had been dating for two years when they got married, but had always used protection. As soon as they had unprotected intercourse for the first time she knew something was wrong. "Before we were always very careful and, you know, used protection, and that time we didn't," Mrs Boyde said. "So, we figured we were married now, so if we got pregnant, we got pregnant."

Mrs Boyde, from Ambridge, Pennsylvania, added: "The pain that I was feeling was inside, kind of like, somebody was sticking needles up inside of me and like a burning, like really painful burning."

Doctors were unable to explain why she experienced pain after intercourse, until a friend of hers suggested she might be allergic to her husband's semen. She was eventually diagnoses with Seminal Plasma Hypersensitivity, which can cause itching and burning.

Dr Andrew Goldstein, from the University of Cincinnati Medical Center said: "The body recognizes semen as a foreign protein just as it would recognize a peanut allergen or pollen." "So you have swelling, you have itching, you have inflammation of the nerve endings."

His colleague Jonathan Bernstein developed a desensitization treatment similar to receiving an allergy shot. After determining the proteins in Mr Boyde's semen that triggered his wife's reaction, he created a serum to counteract the problem. Although the treatment works for some couples, it did not for the Boydes. They have now started adoption proceedings.

Farmer digs naked baby boy out of ground

2009-11-07T23:50:00.000-08:00

Baffled scientists are trying to get to the root of this astonishing plant dug out of the ground by a Chinese farmer.

Farmer digs naked baby boy out of ground

The two foot tall root weighs in at a massive 12 lbs and bears an amazing resemblance to a boy in even the smallest detail.

The root comes from the Chinese knotweed plant, used by local healers as a natural laxative.

Farmer Zheng Dexun, 63, of Datianba, in southern China, said: "I was shocked that it was so large and is so clearly like a boy.

"It's bigger than my grandson. Scientists are looking at it now and will tell me how it came to be like this."

10-minute relationship therapy

2009-11-07T22:24:00.000-08:00

Do you always feel that your partner is to blame?

Dr David Burns is a cognitive therapist specialising in relationship management. In the third of a 10-week series, he offers advice on how to make troubled relationships work. This week: are you sure it's your partner's fault?

So who is more to blame for the problems you are having with your partner? Most people are convinced that the other person is to blame. When I ask for a show of hands at my intimacy workshops, 90 per cent of the people say it's the other person's fault.

But is it? There are lots of good reasons to blame the other person for the problems in your relationship. Blame is the atom bomb of intimacy, destroying everything that gets in its way. But it's far more productive to evaluate the reasons behind the problems instead.

You can do that with what I call a Blame Cost-Benefit Analysis. Draw a vertical line on a sheet of paper. Think about someone you're not getting along with. Now, in the left half of the page, list the advantages of blaming that person for your problems. It could mean, for example, that:

• You can look down on the other person.

• You can feel a sense of moral superiority.

• You won't have to feel guilty or examine your own role in the problem.

• You can play the role of victim and feel sorry for yourself.

• You won't have to change.

• You can try to get back at the other person; after all, he or she deserves it.

• You can be angry and resentful; anger is empowering.

• You won't have to feel guilty or ashamed.

• You can gossip about what a loser the other person is and get sympathy from your friends.

I'm sure you can think of a few other advantages.

When you're done, ask yourself if there are any disadvantages of blaming the other person. Is there a downside? For example, if you blame the other person:

• You'll feel frustrated and resentful because nothing will change.

• The other person will feel judged and insist that it's all your fault.

• The conflict will be demoralising and exhausting.

• You won't be able to get close to the other person.

• You won't experience any spiritual or emotional growth.

• People may get tired of your complaining.

• You won't experience any joy or intimacy because you'll be hopelessly enmeshed in the conflict.

Once you've completed your lists, think about how the lists balance out as a whole, using a 100-point scale. Assign the list that feels more compelling a number out of 100.

For example, if the advantages of blame seem a lot greater than the disadvantages, you could mark it with 70; you would then give the opposing column a mark out of 30. If the advantages and disadvantages of blame feel about the same, put a 50 on either side. The numbers you choose will be entirely up to you, but they should add up to 100.

You don't need to obsess about it. Just review your lists and then ask yourself whether the advantages or disadvantages of blame feel greater. It won't always be a matter of which list is longer. Sometimes one advantage will outweigh many disadvantages, or vice versa.

On your list, were the advantages or disadvantages of blame greater? If the advantages were greater, I'm afraid that I've got some bad news for you. In my clinical work, individuals who complained and blamed others for the problems in their relationships never seemed to get better. They just kept arguing and fighting with other people, no matter what therapy techniques I tried.

In contrast, individuals who focused on changing themselves, rather than blaming or trying to change the person they were at odds with, were usually able to work wonders in their relationships. In most cases, it didn't take long at all.

Best sex position Women During Pregnancy

2009-11-07T21:24:00.000-08:00

Pregnancy is still being viewed as a medical condition, and pregnant women as extremely fragile. While there may be health issues and complications with the pregnancy that make certain kinds of sex difficult, for the most part there is no need to treat sex during pregnancy with anything other than common sense, and no reason to treat a healthy pregnant woman as if she were weak or ill.

In addition, many people look at sex position as the "right" one and the "wrong" one. and many of us have this idea that there is one right (or safe) way to have sex during pregnancy.

Nothing is further from the ruth. There are infinite safe ways to have sex during pregnancy, depending on what kind of sex you want to have. Another problem with this line of thinking is that it is very rigid (no pun intended). Great sex requires a flexibility of thought, and a willingness to try new things when the old ones aren’t working anymore.

As a general rule, a good sex position for pregnant sex is one where:

* Both partners are physically comfortable
* The position allows for the kind of sex and physical contact you want to have

There are some who suggest that both partners should also avoid putting pressure on the uterus, or a partner’s full weight on a pregnant belly.
Figuring out pregnancy sex positions requires some creativity, a sense of humor, and often lots of pillows. It may also mean abandoning penetration if it isn’t working, and finding other ways to please each other and please yourself.

If you’re looking for some ideas to jumpstart all that creativity, you might want to develop your own sex positions by exploring the sex positions game. If that seems like too much work, the following sex positions are generally considered to be more comfortable as your (or your partners) body changes during pregnancy:

* The edge of the bed sex position (The Dr.Ruth and Dr.Amos position) offers many possibilities for greater comfort during pregnancy. You can lie on the bed (on your side, or briefly on your back) at the edge of the bed and your partner can be off the bed, either on their knees or standing up. Combined with the rear entry position, you can be off the bed on your knees (with a pillow underneath them) and rest your upper torso on the bed, with your belly off the bed.
The spooning sex position can be very comfortable as there is no pressure on your abdomen and you have lots of movement. Your partner can position themselves behind you at different angles to allow for penetration. Avoid lying on your right side in this position.
* The side by side sex position allows for more equal physical contact than spooning, but penetration can be a bit trickier. You can cross your legs over each others and this may help. As with spooning, this position can be very comfortable as no one is feeling the weight of the other partner’s body.
* The woman on top sex position offers the benefit of you being in control of the depth and angle of penetration. Later in the pregnancy you may find this position more tiring, and if balance is a concern you may prefer a lying down position, but others find this the ideal position.
* The rear entry sex position is said to be good for g-spot stimulation and can be a comfortable change as it’s a position you aren’t in that often, unless you’re doing yoga. This position can either be done on a bed, or modified as a version of the next sex position.

Female masturbation

2009-11-07T05:17:00.000-08:00

Female masturbation stroking or rubbing her vulva

Female masturbation techniques include a woman stroking or rubbing her vulva, especially her clitoris, with her index and/or middle fingers. Sometimes one or more fingers may be inserted into the vagina to repeatedly stroke its frontal wall where the g-spot is located. Masturbation aids such as a vibrator, dildo or Ben Wa balls can also be used to stimulate the vagina and clitoris. Many women caress their breasts or stimulate a nipple with the free hand, if these are receptive areas for sexual stimulation. Anal stimulation is also enjoyed by some. Lubrication is sometimes used during masturbation, especially when penetration is involved, but this is not universal and many women find their natural lubrication sufficient.

Common positions include lying on back or face down, sitting, squatting, kneeling or standing. In a bath or shower a female may direct tap water at her clitoris and vulva. Lying face down one may use the hands, one may straddle a pillow, the corner or edge of the bed, a partner's leg or some scrunched-up clothing and "hump" the vulva and clitoris against it. Standing up a chair, the corner of an item of furniture or even a washing machine can be used to stimulate the clitoris through the labia and clothing. Some masturbate using only pressure applied to the clitoris without direct contact, for example by pressing the palm or ball of the hand against underwear or other clothing.

In the 1920s, Havelock Ellis reported that turn-of-the-century seamstresses using treadle-operated sewing machines could achieve orgasm by sitting near the edge of their chairs.

Women can sexually stimulate themselves by crossing their legs tightly and clenching the muscles in their legs, creating pressure on the genitals. This can potentially be done in public without observers noticing. Thoughts, fantasies, and memories of previous instances of arousal and orgasm can produce sexual excitation. Some women can orgasm spontaneously by force of will alone, although this may not strictly qualify as masturbation as no physical stimulus is involved.

Sex therapists will sometimes recommend that female patients take time to masturbate to orgasm, especially if they have not done so before.

The Sexiest Commercials for Milk

2009-11-07T04:31:00.001-08:00

Let’s face it. Milk is sexy. Why? It’s not because of the potassium and it’s not because you need it for strong bones. It’s because it is manufactured inside breasts. Another reason it’s sexy? It’s wet. Anything that is wet is sexy. I mean as long as it’s streaming down a hot chick’s leg or something.

And dare I say the milky substance reminds us of another substance that has to do with sex? Lube? No. You all know. Think about it though. Why do you think they have hot chicks in Milk ads these days? Milk mustaches? Those are not a coincidence.

Church urges couples to pray before sex

2009-11-06T23:01:00.000-08:00

Newly-wed Roman Catholic couples are being encouraged to say a special prayer together before having sex.

The specially-composed Prayer Before Making Love is aimed at 'purifying their intentions' so the act is not about selfishness or hedonism.

It appears in the 64-page Prayer Book for Spouses which has been published by the London-based Catholic Truth Society, reports the Daily Mail.

The prayer implores God 'to place within us love that truly gives, tenderness that truly unites, self-offering that tells the truth and does not deceive, forgiveness that truly receives, loving physical union that welcomes'.
It adds: "Open our hearts to you, to each other and to the goodness of your will."
The group has close links to the Catholic Bishops' Conference of England and Wales.

The Rt Rev Paul Hendricks, who is the Auxiliary Bishop of Southwark and sits on the charity's board, said he thought the prayer's inclusion was 'brave but good'.

"I suppose it is a bit idealistic but it is recognising that God is at the heart of the marriage relationship between husband and wife," he said.

"It is important for the Church to affirm the value of marriage and family life and I suppose this is a particular way of doing that."

The book contains prayers for every stage of marriage and family life, including engagement, planning for parenthood, pregnancy and caring for children and elderly parents.

Optimum Uses Of Condum Around The World

2009-11-04T23:03:00.000-08:00

Where in the world are people most likely to use condoms? Well, according to these latest figures, the winner is … China.

But in number two - and somewhat surprisingly considering the present panic over teenage pregnancies - it's the UK,

perhaps showing that all those years of sex education ads have finally paid off. These figures are the latest available from the World Health Organisation, which has a searchable database of every possible health indicator in the world and is the most credible source available.

How To Make Sex Longer

2009-06-09T23:55:00.000-07:00

How To Make Sex Longer

Love making is the wonderful extraterrestrial experience. At the time of making love, we stop thinking about about our past and feel completely no fears of our future, the whole thing freezes to time and we exist in the very moment. But unhappily for some people, love making do not last longer and they are not able to enjoy every bit of it.

Usually people can make love to an hour long activity; however whole night love making too is always possible. What you need is some simple methods which have to be followed by both the associates. If you practice these techniques and procedure and understand what is needed to be done, you can make your nights pleasurable and unforgettable too.

Before we begin, it is extremely essential to know that complete participation, desire for passionate love making, and total loyalty of the partners, mutual accepting, mutual understanding and willingness to take initiative are the fundamentals. There are situations when one partner has to go ahead and let the other partner keep his desires burning, failing to recognize this will cost in early ending of your excitement.

Foreplay play very important role for making love for longer time. Do not forget the long foreplays that manifests itself, making sex being more magnificent and generous. Although there are no rules for you attain maximum pleasure, there are certain definite benefits from this form of an activity. Extended foreplay contains stimulating partners and allowing him or her r to continue experiencing intercourse by fingering or blowjob performed by the weak partner.

The combination of foreplay it is important to start the sexual activity with a prolonged and sensual foreplay. The only difference in foreplay carried out during normal sexual intercourse and the foreplay intended for a night long sex activity is that this foreplay has to be carried out for longer period and should be divided in some parts. These parts should be performed from time to time. Foreplay is an art of expressing love and is a perfect invitation for a sex activity. Foreplay is important in order to arouse female partner for the game of love.

Different sex positions Use of different sex positions has its own importance in sexual intercourse activity. There are different sex positions which allow both the partners choose the way they want to enjoy their time. Some positions allow both the partners keep showering love on the other partner for longer time without shooting up early. Both the partners can use different sex positions during one intercourse.

Know Your Partner Knowing your partners peak time can help slow down when he or she reaches to the extreme level, people who face problem of early ejaculation can be helped by their partners during intercourse in many ways. In order not to shoot before time.

Slow Down Techniques You should follow Slowing Down techniques. Slowing down when its a high sensitive moment pushes the shooting point further, allowing both the partners enjoy intercourse for some more time. Packet technique is used when its hard to slow down, at this point the stroking activity is stopped by the weak partner for some time and extended foreplay is used to give another partner continuous experience of intercourse whereas the partner having problem of early ejaculation gets some more time to calm down his or her desires at certain level and then again both the partners can resume the activity.

Do not let the passion fade There can be more than one complete intercourse during the night long sex activity, but both the partners should never let the passion fade, which can cause decline in interest of the other partner.

Aussie women world's least satisfiedsexually

2007-08-12T02:16:00.000-07:00

A third said their sex lives were not very or not at all satisfying, compared with a global average of just 16 per cent.

Just 26 per cent of Australian women rated their sex life very satisfying and 36 per cent were somewhat happy.

Saudi Arabian women were the most fulfilled, followed by Mexican, Spanish, Italian and Venezuelan women.

Longing for better sex

Australian women were also among the most likely to wish for better sex, 65 per cent saying they had often or sometimes longed for this in the past year.

Despite their discontent, 74 per cent rated sex as important in a relationship.

Leading GP and women's sexual health specialist Dr Penny Adams said men and women were not that far apart sexually.

The survey of more than 14,000 women from 14 countries showed 76 per cent of women overall valued sex, while 89 per cent of men rated it important or very important in the 2005 Sex and the Modern Man report.

But Dr Adams said Australian couples had some work to do, with the report showing women believed more communication and spontaneity would boost their sex lives.

"Women like to communicate on all issues and sex is no different," Dr Adams said.

"It makes them feel connected to their partners."

Macho image a sexual barrier

Dr Adams said the Aussie male's macho image and laid-back nature was often a barrier to greater communication with their partners.

"It's always been a touchy area in relationships, talking not just about how much sex you are having, but also the techniques you enjoy and the quality of the performance," she said.

"But if women present their sexual needs to their partner in a way that's affirming, in terms of their attraction and desire for them, I think it'll be accepted in a positive way.

"As soon as men think they are being picked on or criticised it's going to have a negative impact."

The report, sponsored by Bayer HealthCare, found more communication about sex and more spontaneity were the top needs of women wanting to spice up their sex life.

These were followed by greater desire for each other and giving more pleasure to a partner.

Aussie women want it on tap

Australian women had the second highest desire for spontaneity, with 90 per cent rating it essential or important.

The report also identified the "Vitalsexual" woman, a profile that fitted almost half women surveyed. They were over 40 and believed sex and their partner's sexual satisfaction was important.

They were most likely to discuss the problem of erectile dysfunction with their partner and encourage them to see a doctor.

The report uncovered erectile dysfunction as a blight in Australia.

Women reported the highest rate in their men, at 35 per cent.

Dr Adams said Australia's high rate of erectile dysfunction and poor satisfaction rating were no coincidence.

"Erectile dysfunction has always been seen as a man's problem, but it's also a woman's problem," she said.

"All the good things that sex contributes to a relationship are lessened by erectile dysfunction."

Dr Adams encouraged women to learn about the condition so they could discuss it delicately with their partner.

5 Summer Sex Positions That Could Get You Hospitalized. Or Arrested.

2007-08-05T12:33:00.001-07:00

I've posted the results of survey after survey that show a lot of people are not satisfied with their sex lives. (Link) And no wonder.

Someone sent me a link to the Sex Position of the Week posted on Cosmo's website, (which has links to their other positions as well.) Judging from the pictures and descriptions - and the fact that they are all water-based - I'm going to assume this is their Summer Collection. I'm also going to assume someone at Cosmo has a brother-in-law who is a personal injury attorney.

Some of these would challenge the acrobats of Cirque Du Soleil, let alone a 30-something couch-jockey with a bum knee. Compare them to the relatively tame positions suggested to guys by Men's Health, which I linked to on Tuesday. Most of us could safely add those to our repertoire without tearing an ACL or losing an eye. And still get the job done.

Don't get me wrong. I'm always up for throwing in a new trick or two. But I gotta question whether Cosmo actually "field tested" any of these (and Cosmo, if you need a volunteer, you know where to find me), before throwing them out there for our girls to get a hold of. I mean, they may look good on paper but...

STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN
Cosmo's Erotic Instructions:
"Sit on the second-to-last (rock-hard) stair in the shallow end of the pool with your legs spread... Have your man stand between your legs with his arms on either side of you as he enters you. He can lean on his hands for leverage as he thrusts wildly." Smashing your spine and tailbone against the textured concrete stairs as skin tears away from your ass, back, elbows and his shins.

LADDER LOVIN'
Cosmo's Erotic Instructions:
"This position requires some maneuvering. (And a complete disregard for personal safety.) Climb down to the second-to-last rung of the pool ladder. Do a 180, holding the (suntan oil-soaked) rails, so your back is to the wall. Lean forward and spread your legs so your guy can lower himself behind you and place his feet between your legs on the rung below you. (I'm gonna need a diagram, please. Possibly a training video.) Adjust your bodies so he can slip himself inside you." And knock you face-first into the water with his first thrust. Unless only one hand breaks free, in which case you'll simply spin and fall hard, tangling and cutting your legs in the ladder. Erotically, of course. (Not to mention the pain inflicted on Little Bruno when your full body weight drops on him unexpectedly.) I know people who have trouble using these ladders for their intended purpose, let alone as an improvised sex platform. (And by the way, has anyone ever seen a ladder like this anywhere but a public pool?)

SEXY SPRINKLER
Cosmo's Erotic Instructions:
"Save this position for a day or night when you two have the backyard to yourselves. (So you're saying during the family barbecue is a bad idea, Cosmobvious?) Stand beside a soft-spraying sprinkler and bend over so the water hits your genitals... Your partner should stand behind you and put his hands around your waist as he enters you."
More humorous than hazardous - although the high probability of a neighbor calling the cops or hitting the front page of YouTube with the video he shot of you, does add some danger. But to pull this off, you'll just need a few minor things: 1 - A "soft-spraying" sprinkler, shooting up, as pictured, at an angle I have never seen before, instead of all over, as sprinklers are designed to do. 2 - The absence of the nine other sprinklers that typically work together to water your lawn. Unless sex in the "rain" is your thing. 3 - A way to get warm water to come out of the sprinkler, instead of the usual ice cold water. 4 - A woman willing to be outside, bent over, completely naked, cold water shooting into her "genitals", with soaking wet hair. And running mascara. 5 - A snorkel to keep her from drowning as you erotically hold her head over an active sprinkler.

SLIPPERY WHEN WET
Cosmo's Erotic Instructions:
"Stand facing the side of the tub directly under the showerhead with water running. ("With water running"? Anyone ever say, "Hey baby. Wanna go stand in a dry shower and have sex? The smell of mildew and soap scum gets me hot.") Lean slightly forward, keeping your back straight and your hands on your thighs. (Because bracing yourself against the wall would be the intelligent thing to do.) Your man stands behind you and holds your waist as he enters you. He can intensify the action (and the probability of falling and breaking a kneecap), by pulling you back and forth."

BREAKING THE WAVES
Cosmo's Erotic Instructions:
"Your partner sits cross-legged at the shoreline or in shallow water. Straddle his lap with your knees planted on either side of him as you lower yourself onto his member. (Am I the only one who thinks the word "member" is funny?) Rest your hands on his shoulders, and have him place his hands on your butt so he can help you move up and down."
While not appearing dangerous at first glance, let's look at this carefully. How many shorelines have you been on that weren't covered in shells, rocks, broken glass, jagged driftwood, or even hypodermic needles? And look at whose naked, exposed ass is nestled right down in there. While she "moves up and down". Hmmm. Lots of shells, rocks and other sharp stuff. Sensitive exposed opening. That's an explanation I do not want to be giving to the admissions nurse at the ER.
In fairness to Cosmo, here are three that you can try without needing medical insurance or a good bail bondsman:

HOT-TUB-HUG
You can argue therapeutic benefits all you want, hot tubs were made for sex. Why you would need written instructions for how to do it, I have no idea. But Cosmo has them if you click here. They do suggest she "take advantage of this you-on-top pose to titillate his pleasure-receptive nipples." Always a welcome plus. But they do forget to mention strategically placing the water jets.

DEEP-WATER DARE
She's weightless. You have the excitement of being in public without the danger of getting caught. Waves add to the motion. Perfect unless you live near the Great Barrier Reef. Or her bottoms float out to sea.

RANDY RAFT
And, finally, the perfect position for you less active guys out there - you get to have great sex, can raise and lower her legs to hit different angles like a pro, and at the same time put out very little effort. There might even be room on the raft for your beer.
Source:- The Bachelor Guy

Pregnant women are confused about their diets

2007-07-30T03:23:00.001-07:00

The majority of pregnant women are unsure about what they should eat and drink during their term, a survey has found.

Sixty per cent of women polled said there did not know which foods were safe to consume during their pregnancy.

Foods which caused particular confusion were cheese, shellfish, eggs, tuna and nuts.

Despite recent Government recommendations to cut out alcohol entirely, one in 10 mothers-to-be said they continued to drink alcohol throughout the nine months.

The average weight gain in pregnancy is 22lb to 33lb and women should increase their diet by around 300 calories a day according to the NHS direct.

However, the nationwide survey of 850 pregnant women and new mums found one in five were getting mixed nutritional messages from their midwives on exactly what they should eat. One in 10 blamed friends for their confusion, according to the Organix poll.

Lizzie Vann, founder of Organix, said: "While three-quarters of women think more about nutrition when they have children, they are clearly confused about what to eat when they are pregnant."

COMMON CONFUSING FOODS

Alcohol: The Department of Health advises that pregnant women should avoid drinking alcohol. Claire Friars, midwife for Tommy's, the baby charity said: "If women do choose to drink, they should have no more than 1 or 2 units of alcohol, once or twice a week and definitely shouldn't get drunk."

Caffeine: Drinking a lot of caffeine may also have a negative effect on the baby's health. The Food Standards Agency (FSA) recommends having no more than 300mg per day, which is equivalent to three cups of instant coffee or six cups of tea.

Cheese: Pregnant women are advised to avoid eating soft cheeses such as Brie, Camembert and blue-veined types, as they increase the risk of listeriosis, according to the FSA. You can enjoy hard cheeses such as Cheddar and Cheshire. Cottage cheese, processed cheese and cheese spreads can all be safely eaten during pregnancy.

Shellfish: You should avoid oysters and other shellfish while you're pregnant, unless they have been thoroughly cooked. "When raw, these types of seafood might be contaminated with harmful bacteria and viruses, such as salmonella, campylobacter and occasionally listeria," Ms Friars said.

Tuna: You can eat most types of fish when you're pregnant. But you should avoid shark, swordfish or marlin. You should also limit the amount of tuna you eat to no more than two tuna steaks or four medium-size cans of tuna a week. This is because they contain higher levels of mercury which could affect the baby's nervous system. You should also limit oily fish to a maximum of twice a week.

Nuts: Pregnant mothers may choose to avoid peanuts if they, the baby's father, brothers or sisters have certain allergic conditions such as hayfever or eczema. This is because the baby may have a higher risk of developing a nut allergy.

Eggs: Undercooked or raw eggs should be avoided. "When cooking eggs, they need to be cooked enough for both the white and yolk to be solid. This is to avoid the risk of salmonella," Ms Friars said.

Who needs men? Our cats are the purrfect partners

2007-07-22T22:12:00.000-07:00

They treat them to designer clothes, smoked salmon dinners, luxury hotels and even buy £2,500 beds so they can spend the night together.

Who needs a man? These women have got purrfect partners

DEBORA-MARIA VILA, 34, lives in a four-bedroom house in Chertsey, Surrey, with her six cats: Tinker Bell, Twiggy, Tin Tin, Pluto, Washington and Monkey, aged five years to five months..

She says:

My cats love going for a walk with me in their pink cat buggy, which cost £200.

Sometimes people stare, but the most important thing is that my cats are happy.

My devotion for cats started when I was young, and I've even based my career on it.

I run an online company selling designer clothes and accessories for dogs and cats.

The cats are a substitute for children, but not for a man. With cats, their love is absolute, uncomplicated and unconditional, but all humans relationships have flaws and problems.

All the cats are Cornish Rex cats, an unusual breed, not your average tabby. Tin Tin and Twiggy came from an excellent breeder in the US.

The cost of all the cats, including transporting them here, was around £5,000.

They have personalised diamante collars, which cost around £70 each, and each has at least three outfits, including a bridal gown, Santa outfit, graduation gown and hoodies.

The outfits cost about £20 each. They adore wearing their clothes, especially Pluto, who struts around in his tuxedo and even tries to answer the door.

I groom them regularly. They love having their nails painted pink.

I pay £100 a month for health insurance, and they get their teeth cleaned once a year at the cost of £200 for each cat.

I have 12 designer cat beds in the house which cost £20 each, and two "mink" blankets which cost £25 each.

Their dried food costs £40 a month, but I love to give them treats such as organic roast chicken and prawns, which costs £60 a month.

They eat out of a £100 designer dish and drink from a £60 water bowl.

I love throwing them birthday parties: I fill the house with balloons, invite friends over and cook a seafood dish. That mounts up to £300 a year.

People might think I'm mad for spending so much money on cats, but spoiling them makes me happy.

Cats & transport: £5,000

Collars: £500
Outfits: £420
Cat buggy: £200
Beds & bowls: £400
Food: £1,200
Insurance: £1,200
Teeth: £1,200
Play run: £2,000
Gyms: £1,200
Toys: £500
Parties: £300

TOTAL: £14,120

ANGELA BRUCE, 34, a City trader, lives in a two-bedroom apartment near Canary Wharf in London. She is single and has two Bengal cats, Hannibal and Sappho.

She says: Hannibal's and Sappho are my family, so I don't begrudge a penny I spend on them - I'd happily splash out because I don't have a family or boyfriend.

They're not man substitutes, but anyone who comes into my life has to understand how important they are and play second fiddle.

One former boyfriend did accuse me of loving them more than him.

If I wasn't spending my money on my cats, I'd be buying things that aren't really important, such as expensive shoes and bags. My cats make me a lot happier than clothes could.

I drove all over the country trying to find Bengals because they are beautiful and aristocratic.

After six months, I tracked down a breeder with eight in the litter. These two came straight up and licked me, and I fell in love.

Because Bengals are rare, they cost £600 each. They are more like dogs than cats, and I take them out for walks on their £60 jewelled leads.

People look at me in astonishment, but I care more about having happy, healthy cats than people staring.

The cats have masses of toys, including a £100 snake toy, which is battery-operated.

Their beds alone cost £100 each, and I have one for every room. If their toys get tatty, I replace them with new ones, costing between £30 to £50.

I groom themmyself, but they cost me a fortune in vet bills - I had them neutered and micro-chipping cost several hundred pounds.

Of course, I give them only the best cat food, which costs £12 a bag. They also have treats of salmon and chicken.

They have a pet passport, which cost £200 each. I am taking them to France soon, so I will need cat baskets - Louis Vuitton does one for £250.

Cost of cats: £1,200
Travel to find cats: £1,000
Vet bills: £3,000
Food: £2,500
Toys: £5,000
Cat beds: £1,000
Harnesses and baskets: £1,100
Passports: £400

TOTAL: £15,200

ASHLY SLOAN-BRINKLEY, 33, a management consultant, lives in a two-bedroom flat in Westbourne Grove, West London.

She says: I don't know what I would do without Oscar. He went missing for two weeks and I was in pieces. I put up posters all over the neighbourhood.

Eventually, he was found in a garden screaming at the top of his voice. I was overjoyed.

My friends and family think I go overboard, but Oscar makes me happy. My boyfriend is not an animal lover, but he tolerates Oscar.

He thinks I'm crazy for spending so much money on a cat, but I don't care. I think he is jealous of the love I lavish on Oscar.

I'm sure he must see him as competition for my affections.

My boyfriend once asked me, if I had to pick between them who would I choose?

I told him Oscar had been loyal to me for six years and when our relationship reached that stage he could ask again.

I bought Oscar from a private cat owner. When I first saw him, he looked so helpless. He stared at me with his big eyes and purred.

He looked so vulnerable that I knew I couldn't leave him behind. He's been with me ever since.

When I go on monthly business trips, I leave him at a cat hotel near Heathrow. It costs £300 for a five-day visit, but he gets a heated bed, all the toys he wants and an outdoor run.

The staff take care to make sure he's pampered, just as he is at home. Otherwise I have a cat-sitter who comes to the flat and looks after him when I'm out of the country on business, which costs about £2,500 a year.

I recently got him his own passport, which added up to £300 with all the shots he needs to travel.

Four times a year I take him with me to the US to visit my family. He has a special carrying case which cost £150.

A return trip to the US for Oscar costs £100 each time. He doesn't get a seat next to me, but I know he's looked after in a special hold.

Oscar sleeps in a £700 Bill Amberg leather bed and loves to snuggle up in his £500 cashmere blanket.

I even give him Evian. He has a Burberry outfit from Harrods, which set me back £100, and I also bought him a diamante collar for £50.
I'm happy to give him anything he needs, whether it's a scratching post or sessions with a homeopath and a behaviourist.

Cost of cat: £60
Insurance: £200
Leather bed: £700
Grooming: £200
Food and water bowl: £100
Passports and trips to the US: £1,000
Cat hotels and catsitter: £5,000
Blanket: £500
Food: £300
Homeopathy: £300
Behaviourist: £300
Outfits: £150
Toys: £200
Collar and accessories: £200
Scratching post: £300
Dry-cleaning: £200
Carrying case: £150
Litter box: £600
Evian: £100

TOTAL:£10,660

VANESSA STAPLES, 24, a recruitment consultant, lives in a two-bedroom flat in Bishops Stortford, Herts.

She says:

Freddy is the love of my life. It's embarrassing to admit this, but he is a man substitute.

Cats give you uncomplicated affection when you get home from work. It's lovely to have undemanding love from someone who is pleased to see you. He is easier to look after than a man.

Freddy costs me a fortune and I spend as much on him as I would do on a boyfriend.

He loves sleeping on my bed, even though I bought a £100 fluffy pet bed for him.

I had to buy a king-sized bed big enough for both of us and Egyptian cotton sheets so he would be as comfortable as possible - though I have the extra cost of laundering them.

He's possessive and treats me as his personal property. If a friend or a boyfriend comes too near me, he gets agitated and weaves around me.

I make a big fuss of him and treat him like a king, but the bills are huge. One of the biggest expenses is food.

He refuses to eat anything but Tesco's Finest, which costs £30 a week, and I buy him cat milk, at £2.50 for half a pint. His favourite foods are tiger prawns and smoked salmon.

Rarely a week goes by without me buying him a trinket. His toys cost at least £20 each - the most expensive was £45 and it lasted only two weeks.

One of Freddy's first presents was a Burberry collar, which cost £60, but he hated wearing it.

I bathe him in the finest shampoos costing £10 a bottle. He also likes to come out and about with me in the car, in his £60 cat carrier.

I earn a good salary and I don't have children, so this is how I choose to spend my money.

My friends think I am mad, but until you have a cat you don't realise how they take over your life.

Cost of cat: £600
Travel to find cat: £300
Food: £2,000
Toys: £1,060
Insurance: £200
Vet bills: £2,100
Pet bed: £100
King-size bed plus Egyptian cotton sheets: £2,500
Shampoos & grooming: £350

TOTAL: £9,210

15 sex tips left them dazed and amazed

2007-07-21T02:46:00.001-07:00

There are millions of sex experts out there, and not all of them have radio shows. They're called "women," and they're a hell of a lot more fun to talk to than your average Ph.D. They conduct all their research on their own bodies, and they're much more likely to let you in on the experimentation. So here's what we did: We we went to the women first, and asked them what works best. We're talking red glare here, bombs bursting in there. Then we consulted the smartest sex docs around, so they could tell us why it worked. Now it's up to you to implement.

"Great lovers don't memorize complicated techniques. They master the simple things that give women pleasure," says a sex educator and author of How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure. Here's what she's asking for. The more you give, the more you get. Simple, right?

"When I'm about to climax during

Why it works: Most men think of the clitoris as just that little bud under the hood, but it actually extends deep inside a woman's body, explains Paget. When you flick your tongue quickly along its shaft, you're not only covering more territory, you're also creating vibrations that help carry your stimulation beyond the tongue's reach.

How to do it: The key here is to make sure that the clitoral hood is out of the way. Don't be afraid to pull it back gently and then make quick, darting motions with your tongue as far down along the tiny shaft as your tongue can go.

"I love it when my man makes with his finger or tongue before coming in for a nipple landing."

Why it works: Like the ripples that circle out when you throw a rock into a pond, concentric zones of sensitivity radiate outward from a woman's hot spots. "The area surrounding erogenous zones such as the nipples tends to be highly sensitive, too," says Linda DeVillers, Ph.D., a California psychologist and author of LoveSkills.

How to do it: Begin right at the point where her breast starts to rise from her chest, and spiral slowly inward with your fingertips until you reach the nipple. Once you hit the bull's-eye, suck and gently bite. To really tease her, try circling in until you just brush her nipple, then pulling back out for another tantalizing spin.

"All of a sudden, without warning, my guy stops midthrust. Then he goes super slow, entering me inch by inch for a few minutes. It sets me off like nothing else!"

Why it works: The key to keeping her aroused is to keep her guessing. Predictability really takes away from pleasure -- not to mention that, in the beginning, too much of the same sensation makes a woman go numb, says Paget. But don't worry, you don't have to do anything fancy to jumpstart her sensation; just stop. "Stopping and restarting a touch or a thrust builds on the previous sensation, and it lets you skip up a few rungs on the pleasure ladder," says Paget.

How to do it: Pick a thrust and stop -- you can be inside or halfway out or just have the head of your penis touching her vaginal lips. Catch her eye, pause for a few seconds, and start again. For maximum effect, resume thrusting in slow motion and build back up to speed gradually.

"Before we make love, my husband often stands in front of me after I've undressed and holds his fingertips right above my skin. He moves his hands all the way up and down my body. The sensation is unreal."

Why it works: Positive anticipation is a huge part of what turns women on, says Michael Seiler, Ph.D., sex therapist and director of the Phoenix Institute in Chicago. By levitating your fingers above the skin so they brush those fine body hairs, you're creating a delightful shiver up her spine -- and making her feel as though you appreciate every inch of her body.

How to do it: Help her undress (another anticipation stoker); once she's naked, take her hand and stand facing her. Brush her hair back and let your fingertips hover over the surface of her skin. You're where you should be if the fat part of your fingerpad is touching her skin ever so slightly. Now go ahead and run your pads over her arms, breasts, belly, and thighs.

"I love it when my boyfriend hums while giving me oral sex. And when he follows it up with very light finger taps, I detonate."

Why it works: There's a reason vibrators are so popular: Anything that shakes, rattles, or rolls primes a passel of nerves for peak sensation. "Any time you touch the skin with something vibrating, you transmit sensation to a wider area than you would through simple stroking," says Paget. So you're activating twice the nerves with half the work. "Top it off with a direct touch at the right time and to just the right place -- in this case the clitoris -- and you'll probably send her over the edge."

How to do it: Relax your lips (think Mick Jagger) and hum a tune (think "Brown Sugar"). Bring the outermost portion of your kisser in contact with the outside of her clitoris (the hood that covers the little nub) and her vaginal lips. Move your mouth around her clitoris -- very slowly. When she can't take any more, tap gently and in a circular motion with your fingertip on the swollen nub of the clitoris; or give it a few long, languid licks, staying in contact the whole time.

"As he's thrusting, my guy presses hard with his hand right below my belly button. I have the most incredible orgasms."

Why it works: On the belly-side wall of her vaginal canal lurks a quarter-size zone of pleasure known as the G-spot. The reason many women don't think they have one of these secret pleasure buttons is that the G-spot responds only to firm pressure -- and that may not occur during intercourse, explains John D. Perry, Ph.D., a sex therapist. But pressing on her G-spot from the outside while you're thrusting inside can bring her pleasure place into fuller contact with your penis and trigger mind-blowing orgasms.

How to do it: Since the exact location of the G-spot varies from woman to woman, you'll have to play it by feel. Start by gently pressing the heel of your hand into her belly button as you're thrusting. When she screams with pleasure, you'll know you've hit the target.

"My boyfriend has this amazing thing he does on my nipples, private parts, and neck: He licks a small area and then blows on the wet patch. It creates these sexy tingles down my spine."

Why it works: Remember blowing on soup to cool it off? The same principle governs the evaporation of liquid on skin: Blow it and it cools. Couple the cooling trick with a warm lick, and you've got a contrast that'll make her head spin. "The further apart two sensations are on a spectrum of feeling -- hot/cold or hard/soft -- the more intense they'll feel done in succession," says Paget.

How to do it: Creating a wet spot with water is good, but wetting with alcohol is better. Since alcohol evaporates more quickly than water, it creates a cooler effect when you blow. So bring that glass of wine into the bedroom. Swish some around in your mouth and lick a choice spot. (Try her breasts first.) Then blow gently, give it a second, and take a long, slow lick. Repeat as necessary.

"I love it when my man lightly bites my nipples while touching me down below. There's something about the combination that drives me crazy with pleasure."

Why it works: Although the government hasn't yet ponied up cash for a study of this phenomenon, women and the sex experts who study them know there's often a direct sensory connection between the nipple and the pleasure nub. "For many women, lightly biting or tweaking the nipples produces a tingle in their genitals, especially the clitoris," says Paget.

How to do it: The easiest approach is to lie side by side and bite her nipple while touching her down below. Don't be surprised if she drapes a leg over your side -- that just means she wants you to go deeper.

"One night my husband and I were fooling around on the La-Z-Boy and he pulled up a footstool and knelt as I lay on the chair. Then he used the rocking of the recliner to help him thrust. Something about the back-and-forth motion heightened every sensation."

Why it works: Adding something unpredictable, such as a rocking motion, can be highly erotic. "Surprise is almost always sexy -- it's almost as though the rocking adds a fourth dimension to the experience," says Louanne Cole Weston, Ph.D., a sex therapist in Sacramento, California. Also, any position in which your lower than she is ups your chances of hitting her G-spot by helping to angle your penis toward her front (belly-side) vaginal wall.

How to do it: Choose a recliner or rocking chair that's comfortable for her and a footstool or low table that puts you at the right thrusting height.

"When we're in the missionary position, my husband gets up high so his hips are above mine and enters me at a downward angle very, very slowly. Often he pauses midthrust, and I have the most over-the-top orgasms."

Why it works: During typical thrusting, a woman's clitoris generally gets neglected. But when a man positions his hips above his partner's, he can thrust in such a way that his penile shaft remains in direct contact with her clitoris.

How to do it: From the standard missionary position, just push yourself forward with the balls of your feet and your toes so you're "riding high." (Your hipbones should be at least an inch above hers.) Then enter and start thrusting very slowly.

"When my husband gives me oral sex, he also enlists his finger to provide firm pressure deep inside. The combination feels unbelievably good."

Why it works: Although it seems logical that the clitoris and the vagina would be hooked up on the same nerve network, they actually activate separate pleasure frequencies. That's why touching inside your partner's vagina with the fingers of one hand and her clitoris with the fingers of the other hand doubles the amount of pleasure she feels, says Paget. Bonus: Many women like to feel "filled up" when they reach orgasm (having something to contract the vaginal muscles around increases sensation), so two fingers inside can make all the difference when she climaxes.

How to do it: Start by touching or licking her clitoris. Once she's stimulated, put a finger in her vagina and give her a few firm strokes. When she's about to climax, add a second finger to give her more to flex against.

"I was with this guy who would pucker up his lips and seal them around my nipple. Then he'd alternately inhale and create a vacuum and exhale to put pressure on my breast. It was the most amazing feeling."

Why it works: Just as alternating between hot and cold can heighten the effect of each, so can switching between pulling and pushing. "Pushing and pulling activate separate sets of nerves, so combining the two effectively doubles the pleasure she feels," Paget says.

How to do it: The key here is to be gentle -- at least at first. Once you've taken a few spins, pucker up your lips and apply them so you create a gentle seal around her nipple. Then take in air from your nose and breathe out through your mouth. Now suck in through your mouth.

Repeat, and keep increasing the intensity.

"My boyfriend puts me in orbit when he gives me oral sex. It's not his technique per se, or some quirky aspect of his tongue that has me mesmerized -- it's the way he seems to savor every minute of it."

Why it works: One of a woman's greatest fears is that she smells or tastes bad below the belt. Allay that fear, and everything else you do will be golden. "When we know he's totally into it, that alone takes us to another level of pleasure," says Paget.

How to do it: Catch her eye in the midst of the action, moan, or simply tell her how much you're loving what you're doing.

"My boyfriend turned me crosswise on the bed the other night so that my head fell over the edge. I thought he was nuts -- until I had my biggest orgasm ever."

Why it works: Any time you turn your head upside down, you'll feel a rush as blood pours in and oxygen is depleted. "And this head rush, combined with physical pleasure, can heighten orgasm for some women," says Seiler.

How to do it: Have her lie on her back across the bed, with her head and shoulders dangling over the edge. (Make sure she keeps as much of her lower back on the mattress as possible, and stop if she gets too light-headed.) Enter her slowly, and show some restraint when you thrust -- you don't want to knock her onto the floor.

"My man puts a pillow under my butt before we get going in the missionary position. It tips me in such a way that every thrust feels a million times better and I climax very quickly."

Why it works: When it comes to thrusting, angle is everything -- when your penis slides in at just the right slant, it tickles her clitoris and makes solid contact with her G-spot. Since the G-spot is on the front (belly-side) wall of her vagina, anything that tips her pelvis back makes that hot-spot contact more likely. That same pelvic tilt also raises the clitoris, putting it in a better position to come in contact with your penile shaft.

How to do it: As you're moving into the missionary position, slide one pillow (start with a fairly flat one0 underneath your partner, right where her lower back meets her butt. Let her fiddle with it until she's comfortable, then thrust as usual. Don't be surprised if your efforts produce more pleasure than you bargained for.

5 New Sex Positions

2007-07-20T03:01:00.000-07:00

The moves to get her there in record time

MIX IT UP

Exploring your sexuality can be a dead end if you don't keep one destination in mind: her happiness.

THE DOWNWARD DOG

The purpose: Allows for deeper thrusts

How it works: She's facedown on the bed, hips raised

The benefit: This position creates a snug fit, "making you feel larger," says Rebecca Rosenblat, a sex therapist and the author of Seducing Your Man. It also puts pressure on the hard-to-reach pleasure zones just behind her vagina. To last longer, try "shallow thrusting and deep breathing," advises April Masini, author of Date out of Your League. "Exhale with each thrust."
Hint: Don't be a battering ram. "Move your hips from side to side, too," says Diana Wiley, Ph.D., a sex therapist.

THE FACE-OFF

The purpose: Makes height differences disappear
How it works: You sit on a chair or the edge of a bed, she faces you on your lap.

The benefit: Greater flexibility. "She can easily control the angle and depth of entry," says Wiley, "and this is a good way for a man to learn what sort of rhythm his partner prefers." Sitting is also great for marathon lovemaking because "no one has to worry about their legs or arms giving out on them," says Rosenblat.
Hint: Your hands can roam; take advantage of the 8,000 nerves of the clitoris -- or the millions elsewhere on her body.

THE PRETZEL

The purpose: Blends the doggy and missionary styles

How it works: She lies on her left side. You kneel between her legs, curling her right leg around your right side and straddling her left leg. Use your hands to bring her toward you.

The benefit: The deeper penetration of doggy-style sex, without the loss of face-to-face contact. Also, ergonomics: "A lot of women can’t stand doggy-style, because it hurts their backs," says Rosenblat.
Hint: Add manual stimulation. Your right arm is perfectly positioned to tuck under her right leg to lend a helping hand. "That's a can't-miss combination."

THE SHOULDER HOLDER

The purpose: Targets her G-spot, makes you feel bigger

How it works: She rests both legs on one of your shoulders.

The benefit: "Any position in which a woman raises her legs narrows the vagina," says Rosenblat. Slide her feet down to your chest, one foot on each of your pectoral muscles, and start her in a rocking side-to-side or up-and-down motion. She's in a perfect position to control how you stimulate her G-spot.
Hint: Keep your sensors tuned: "If she's pushing a body part into you, she digs the position," Rosenblat says. "If she's pulling back, try something else."

THE COWGIRL'S HELPER

The purpose: Puts her in control, lets you lend a helping hand

How it works: She squats on top, raising and lowering herself with her thighs. You support her by holding her hips and rising to meet each thrust.

The benefit: She'll appreciate your ceding the sexual remote control. "This move allows her to choose between shallow and deep thrusting," says Rosenblat. "Shallow will stimulate the front third of her vagina, the most sensitive part."
Hint: It takes strong thighs for her to maintain this position, so use your arms to help assume some of the heavy lifting.

International Sex Survey 2007 Seduce Any Woman

2007-07-20T02:54:00.001-07:00

Sorry, dude, but guys in other countries are having more sex than you. Way more. We know, it doesn't make sense. Pop culture and the Internet would have us believe that American men are the most oversexed stallions on the planet, that every girl is 20, tanked, and topless. Plus, we have George Clooney and Matthew McConaughey. And has anyone tallied Tommy Lee's numbers?

Yet, there are the stats. According to a Men's Health survey of 40,000 readers worldwide, foreign men have sex up to 70 more times a year than you do. So much for our superpower status. But don't worry--we have a plan. We took a trip around the world to find out what makes men from other countries so attractive to the women they pursue. We also enlisted the help of sex experts around the globe to save you from another sexless night. Master their tips and soon you'll simply be able to say "G'day" and mate.

England : Take Her, Outside

Hugh Grant has typecast British men as meek and bumbling. But according to a 2005 Durex survey of 317,000 people in 41 countries, these blokes are so irresistible, their partners can't even wait to get back to the flat. Twice as many Brits as Americans report having had sex on public transportation and in alleyways and gardens. "Many a chap has fallen in love in the checkout line at the supermarket," says Vicki Ford, a British psychosexual therapist and the author of Overcoming Sexual Problems. And apparently they consummate it on the way home.

How To Do It: Arouse her temptation. Pull her into a side alley or a dark doorway and plant one while gently stroking her neck, suggests Emily Dubberley, a British sex expert and the author of Brief Encounters. "Fear of being caught stimulates her fight-or-flight response," explains Ford. "Adrenaline floods her system, making everything feel much more intense."

Australia : Drive Her Wild

We Americans love our cars, but Australians love in their cars. Almost 75 percent of Aussies have had sex on the road, according to Durex. "We can always find a private space to get it on," says Jan Hall, Ph.D., an Australian sex therapist. The car provides the ideal cover: "Sneaking away for a surreptitious shag or fondle says, 'I can't wait,' " says Gabrielle Morrissey, Ph.D., Australian author of A Year of Spicy Sex.

How To Do It: Heading to a party is the perfect opportunity to lure her over to the driver's side--the mood is up, and you're dressed to the nines. Playfully graze her inner thigh with your fingertips. Suggest that it's proper to be fashionably late--how should we fill the time?--and park on a secluded street for a quickie. "It's like sharing a secret all night," Morrissey says, "especially if you've promised each other an encore."

Romania : Play it Straight

Meeting women is easy, if you're not sidetracked by insecurity ("Is she looking at me?"), coy games ("Have our waitress ask her waitress what she's drinking"), or body-language interpretation ("Dude, her eyes say no, but the angle of her feet says olé!"). When Romanian men want a woman, they tell her. "The men here have a lot of self-confidence," says Felicia Abaza, sex editor of Men's Health Romania. "And the women are tuned to respond to it."

How To Do It: Tired come-ons will fall flat. Instead, lean in unexpectedly and whisper in her ear, "I just had to be near you." Be mindful of your tone. Brash: bad. Calm: good. "Caress her with your voice," says Patricia Cihodaru, Ms.C., a Romanian psychologist and sex expert. And when you've become friendly enough that you won't get a punch in the chops, "say she looks beautiful and tell her how much you want her," says Cihodaru. "Hearing your desire is the strongest aphrodisiac."

China : Build Tension with Technology

Forget the 3-day rule. In China, men follow up the day after a successful date--by e-mail. "Technology plays a big role in relationships here," says Yoyoo Chow, sex editor of Men's Health China. "Most couples meet over the Internet. So if a man doesn't take the initiative, she'll find someone else pretty quickly."

How To Do It: Send a short, suggestive note, says Chow. Something as simple as "Last night . . . wow! When can I see you again?" will incite her interest. If she feels the same way, she'll respond accordingly. As the sexual tension builds, resist the temptation to pour out your soul or create a list of your top 10 fantasies. At this early stage, short equals sexy--always. And remember: Use of emoticons will ensure that you spend the night alone.

Italy : Seduce Her with Food

It's no secret that good food, wine, and conversation lead to great sex. "Italian men flock to dinner parties to meet women," says Adriana Amedei, sex editor at Men's Health Italy. "There's no crowd, no noise, it's relaxed. All you have to do is share your opinions . . . at least to start." The real mating game, says Amedei, begins at the table. Flirting overtly over a meal (or discreetly under the table) builds tension that will spill over later. "Food and sex are intimately connected, because they tap into the senses," says Martha Hopkins, author of InterCourses: An Aphrodisiac Cookbook.

How To Do It: "Listen attentively to her, make eye contact, and seek out a common interest," says Hopkins. "Then, while eating, conjure up the same sounds that accompany passionate sex: mmm, oooh, aahh." You're creating a mood and a fantasy. Be subtle about it, however. You don't want the host to say, "Um, Fred, do you mind? We're eating."

India : Prolong Your Pleasure

Indian men know that the journey is almost always more interesting than the destination. "Sexual pleasure is linked to the gradual process of seduction, which includes courtship, touching, and kissing," says Sanjay Srivastava, Ph.D., author of Passionate Modernity. "Focusing on the finish misses the point."

How To Do It: Practice a technique called karezza, in which the man remains inside the woman for at least 10 minutes, moving only when necessary to maintain an erection. Penetrate her slowly and gently. Match your breathing and maintain eye contact to focus on your emotional connection, not the physical act. "Conventional sex can be very limiting," says Kenneth Ray Stubbs, Ph.D., author of The Essential Tantra. "This results in a larger climax for both partners."

Netherlands : Play with Positions

Lovers in the Netherlands know what they want--and how to ask for it. Sixty-four percent of Dutch men and women are confident asserting their needs during sex, compared with less than half of Americans, according to the Durex survey. "In bars, men are picked up as often as they approach women themselves, and both are willing to experiment in bed," says Achsa Vissel, a Dutch sex psychologist. Being forward with your compliments--and desires--will pave the way for pleasure.

How To Do It: "Dutch men pay attention to places that seem less erotic, like the inner arms, back, and shoulders," says Vissel. Shaking up the routine leads to more sex: Sixty-three percent of the Dutch are satisfied with the amount of sex they're having, compared with 55 percent of Americans. When your partner is ready to move past the missionary position, try moves that allow you to stroke her clitoris during sex, like doggy-style or cowgirl.

Greece : Don't be So Uptight

Americans are bombarded with sexual imagery all day, yet we're closemouthed about sex. Not in Greece. "We talk about sex all the time--in the office, with our friends, with our partners," says Nikki Hayia, sex editor of Men's Health Greece. "A Greek man can talk dirty to his woman in front of 10 people, and it doesn't bother him to kiss and touch her in public." Simple public displays of affection can work for you, too: A recent study by the Berman Center in Chicago found that couples who kiss often in nonsexual situations are eight times more likely to be sexually satisfied.

How To Do It: Hint at what's to come, says Hayia: Subtly stroke her thigh or lower back during dinner; run your fingers up her leg; steal a lingering kiss on her bare shoulder at a crowded bar. "American men are too uptight," Hayia says. "Relax, guys. Have sex like there's no tomorrow."

mother and baby during pregnancy

2007-07-19T08:41:00.001-07:00

Weeks 1-4
Fertilisation occurs and a ball of quickly multiplying cells embeds itself in the lining of the uterus.
In the UK pregnancy is calculated from the first day of the woman's last period so for as much as three weeks of this first month she might not be actually pregnant. When fertilisation does occur the tiny mass of cells called a blastocyst at this stage embeds itself in the lining of the womb which is already thickening to support it.
Week 5
The mass of cells is developing fast and becomes an embryo. For many women the first sign of pregnancy is a missed period.
Shopbought tests are considered largely reliable so the mother-to-be does not have to have her pregnancy confirmed by her GP. If a first test is negative a second one a few days later may prove positive as hormone levels in the urine rise.
Week 6
The embryo officially becomes a foetus. It is about the size of a baked bean and its spine and nervous system begin to form.
The foetus already has its own blood system and may be a different blood group from its mother. Blood vessels are forming in what will become the umbilical cord and tiny buds which will become limbs appear.
Week 7
The baby´s heart is beginning to develop. Morning sickness and other side effects of early pregnancy may take hold.
Around this time many women find they experience the side-effects of early pregnancy including needing to urinate more often nausea and vomiting and feeling a bit weepy and irritable. All medication including supplements need to be carefully checked as the foetus is undergoing vital development in the first 12 weeks. If the woman has not told her GP or community midwife she is pregnant yet now is a good time to do so.

Week 8
It is quite common to have a first scan at this stage if the woman has had a previous miscarriage or bleeding.
An early scan is often done through the vagina and is used to check the pregnancy is not ectopic. It should show up the baby´s heartbeat. The nervous system is also developing rapidly especially the brain. The head gets bigger and eyes form under the skin of the face. The foetus' limbs are growing and look more like arms and legs. All internal organs are developing and becoming more complex.

Week 9
The foetus is about 5cm long with its head tucked onto its chest. It has most its major organs and eyes and ears are developing.

Week 10
A scan at 10-13 weeks is recommended to pin down the date of the pregnancy.

Week 11
The umbilical cord is fully formed providing nourishment and removing waste products. The foetus looks fully human now.

Week 12
By this week the threat of miscarriage is much reduced. Many women announce their pregnancy to friends and colleagues.
The foetus is growing in length much more quickly by now it is about eight cm long and weighs about 60 grams. The placenta is now wellformed though it's not yet doing its full job it takes over fully in week 14. The mother is likely to have her first scan this week.

Week 13
The womans uterus is becoming larger and is starting to rise out of the pelvis. The foetus can move its head quite easily.
Week 14
Third of the way through. The average pregnancy lasts 266 days or 280 days from the first day of last period.

Week 15
Screening for Downs syndrome is offered about now. A simple blood test is carried out first then further tests may be offered.
On the basis of the blood test results the woman may opt for a Chorionic Villus sample or an amniocentesis which would diagnose Down's syndrome or other chromosomal abnormalities. However these diagnostic tests have a small risk of subsequent miscarriage. An alternative to blood tests is a nuchal translucency scan a new scan offered by some larger hospitals. But again an amniocentisis would be required for firm diagnosis.

Week 16
The foetus now has toe and finger nails eyebrows and eyelashes. It is also covered with downy hair.
The hair that will cover the baby until the last week or so of pregnancy - called lanugo - starts to form. This hair is very fine more like down and it probably serves as some form of insulation and protection for the skin.
Week 17
The foetus can hear noises from the outside world. By this stage the mother is visibly pregnant and the uterus is rising.

Week 18
By this stage the foetus is moving around a lot - probably enough to be felt.

Week 19
The foetus is now about 15-20cm long and weighs about 300g. Milk teeth have formed in the gums.

week 20
Half way through pregnancy now. Almost all mothers are offered a routine scan. The foetus develops a waxy coating called vernix.
The scan can show the foetus in fine detail and often reveal if the baby is a boy or a girl. However not all hospitals offer to tell parents the sex of the child - and not all parents want to know.

Week 21
The mother may feel short of breath as her uterus pushes against her diaphragm leaving less space for the lungs.
The mother may be offered another ultrasound scan around this time. The scan can check the baby´s spine internal organs and growth are normal.

Week 22
Senses develop: taste buds have started to form on the tongue and the foetus starts to feel touch.

Week 23
The skeleton continues to develop and bones that form the skull begin to harden - but not fully.
Week 24
Antenatal checkup and scan to check the baby´s position. A baby born this early does sometimes survive.
A baby born at 24 weeks may possibly survive but it would have severe breathing difficulties as its lungs would not be strong enough to cope. It would also be very thin lightweight and susceptible to infections.
week 25
All organs are now in place and the rest of the pregnancy is for growth. Preeclampsia is a risk from here onwards.
This potentially fatal condition causes high blood pressure protein in the urine and swelling caused by fluid retention. The causes are unclear but research suggests it may be linked to an immune reaction to the foetus or the placenta. If the condition is serious women may be advised to take drugs to lower their blood pressure and in some cases an early caesarean or induction may be performed. Serious complications of pregnancy

Week 26
The foetus skin is gradually becoming more opaque than transparent.

Week 27
The foetus measures about 34cm and weighs about 800g.

Week 28
Routine checkup to test for preeclampsia. Women with Rhesus negative blood will also be tested for antibodies.
If the mother has Rh negative blood but the baby is Rh positive she can develop antibodies to her baby´s blood during labour. This is not a problem in the first birth but can affect subsequent pregnancies and result in stillbirth. Fortunately treatment is simple and effective. BBC Health: Ask the doctor - Rhesus disease

Week 29
Some women develop restless leg syndrome in their third trimester.
This is sensations such as crawling tingling or even cramps and burning inside the foot or leg - often in the evening and at night disturbing sleep and making the mother feel she needs to get up and walk around. No-one knows what causes this harmless but irritating condition.

Week 30
Braxton Hicks contractions may begin around now. They are practice contractions which dont usually hurt.
These are irregular, painless contractions which feel like a squeezing sensation near the top of the uterus. If contractions become painful or occur four times an hour or more, the woman should call a doctor as she may be in early labour.

Week 31
The foetus can see now and tell light from dark. The mother´s breasts start to produce colostrum about now
This high calorie milk is produced by the mother to feed the baby for the first few days after birth before normal milk starts.

Week 32
Another antenatal appointment. The foetus is about 42cm and weighs 2.2kg. A baby born now has a good chance of survival.

Week 33
From now the baby should become settled in a head downwards position. A midwife can help to move it if necessary.

Week 34
The mother may find it more difficult to eat full meals as the expanded uterus presses on her stomach.

Week 35
If the mother has been told she may need a planned caesarean, now is a good time to discuss it further.

Week 36
The baby´s head may engage in the pelvis any time now.

Week 37
The baby´s lungs are practically mature now and it can survive unaided. The final weeks in the womb are to put on weight.

Week 38
Babies born from this week onward are not considered early.

Week 39
Another ante-natal appointment. The mother has reached her full size and weight by now.

Week 40
In theory the baby should be born this week. The mother´s cervix prepares for the birth by softening.

Week 41
First babies are often up to a week late but if there are signs of distress to mother or child the birth will be induced.

A Guide for Guys: Why Girls Fake It.

2007-07-05T02:39:00.001-07:00

I don’t like to toot my own horn, but I am every man’s dream woman; it only takes two beers to get me drunk and, unlike most women, it doesn’t take much to get me going. A guy needs only to look in my direction if he wants to rile me up and finish me off. It’s amazing that I was single for so long. The problem with such perks comes with the reputation that spreads. I was once known as “Quickie McClimax” or “Anyone-Can-Get-Her-Off Girl” amongst some of my peers and one-night bedmates. Now, I don’t really care what people think of me or say about me, but it becomes a problem when a reputation like this precedes me.

What happens when a guy can’t get me off? Well, I’ll tell you.

I am forced to fake it.

And I am sure you all have been there too. We all know men hate it when a woman resorts to faking it, but there is a lot that goes into that decision that they just don’t understand. If you ever find yourself tongue tied when trying to explain your reasoning for faking it, print out this bad boy and hand it to your man.

1) We don’t want you to feel inadequate: My friend thinks this is the worst excuse ever. He claims that he would rather a girl tell him what to do than fake it. Well Ryan, unfortunately most guys are not like you, or most girls are not willing to sit up in bed with a chalkboard and map in order to get off. Needless to say, it kind of ruins the moment. The truth is most women are not as easy to please as I am, and it has nothing to do with the guy. If some guy goes down on a girl three or four times and still can’t get her off he may begin to think he is bad in bed and therefore unworthy of life when it is really just her difficult vagina. If she fakes it, however, she makes the guy feel better about himself, which will make this late-night relationship a much happier one. If you think about it faking it is a real compliment; it means that the woman really cares about you and your feelings.

2) It still feels fabulous: We are not men - things still feel pretty damn good regardless if we finish. I know a girl who can never get off from sex, but does that deter her? NO! She is the biggest sex fiend I know. Does it deter her man? NO! He is getting his (on a daily basis), and that is all he really cares about.

3) It is God-awful and it needs to stop: Now, here is a problem I can relate to. It is a situation like this that makes my gift a difficult one to have. When a guy knows that it doesn’t take much to please me he expects it to happen. When it doesn’t happen, he thinks something is wrong with him. He is right. I am forced to fake it in order to save his ego (see #1) in addition to making him stop whatever horrible thing he is doing in order to walk out of there pain free. Trying to sit up and explain what is going wrong and how to make it better would be futile and a waste of my time; why risk even more pain and suffering when I can merely fake it, kick the kid out and finish up on my own?

The fact that women fake it is a harsh reality to men. But, let’s face it, it is a harsh world out there. Men may not understand or agree, but those of us who have been in that situation know that we don’t do it for our own kicks – in fact, we would rather not have to do it at all, but sometimes (very rarely for me) it’s our only choice.

A Girl’s Guide To Masturbation

2007-07-05T02:33:00.000-07:00

Masturbation. Couldn’t someone think of a cooler term to describe getting yourself off? It sounds so … mechanical.

Regardless of the actual word, I masturbate. Yeah, I said it. And sadly, most girls really won’t throw it out there like that. For some reason guys can just talk about jerking off as if it’s part of their morning routine — “I brushed my teeth, took a shower, wacked off, got dressed and went to class.”

Um, that never happens if you’re a girl. It’s more like, “I’m heading to bed early tonight” a.k.a. “I’m horny and I have a date with my vibrator.” Sure, my friends and I have had that conversation where you let the cat out of the bag, and they all admit it too. But there’s always that friend who’s like, “Guys, that’s gross, I don’t do that.”

Yeah, right! How the hell have you never touched yourself? It’s part of being a girl; it’s only natural to explore your body. And if you want to enjoy sex, you should seriously learn what turns you on.

So for all of you that are in denial of your female anatomy and afraid of getting a little “dirty,” I found a great article to help you out. Just read it. Give yourself an orgasm and learn what you’ve been missing.

Burkha brigade: Women lead the charge in mosque clashes

2007-07-03T14:12:00.000-07:00

Like some secretive, sinister army they march on their target.

With only eyes visible behind black burkhas, scores of women wielding bamboo poles descend on a police checkpoint in the Pakistan capital of Islamabad.

Backed by armed male students, they snatched weapons and took four officials hostage, triggering a gun battle that left at least nine people dead and 140 wounded.

As the bullets flew, many of the women took to rooftops to shout anti- Government slogans.

Students set fire to two government offices and torched dozens of cars outside.

There were even loudspeaker calls for suicide attacks on the police. The clashes yesterday were a violent climax to a long dispute between Pakistani officials and the controversial Red Mosque, run by a Taliban-style movement.

Clerics at the mosque and the 5,000 students at its two madrassas, or religious schools, have been campaigning for the imposition of fundamentalist Islamic social values, including Sharia law, that would include public executions and the stoning of adulterers.

Trouble first flared in January when female students occupied a library next to their madrassa to protest at the destruction of mosques built illegally on state land.

The fundamentalists have also been involved in a number of incidents, including the kidnapping of police and prostitutes and anyone the mosque's leaders say is involved in immoral activities.

About 150 students, including masked men with guns and scores of women in burkhas, attacked a police checkpoint near the mosque. Some carried gas masks and several had petrol bombs.

Police and paramilitary Rangers fired tear gas and, as the students retreated, at least four male students open fire on security forces from about 200 yards away.

Shooting by both sides went on for several hours. Scores of local people, including children, came out to shout support for the students and call on the government to stop the shooting.

Officials said at least four students, including two women, were killed, along with two policemen and a soldier.

There were reports that a TV cameraman and a passer-by also died. Clerics at the mosque, however, said at least ten of their supporters had died.

Troops occupied buildings overlooking the sprawling mosque complex while ambulances waited nearby.

Abdul Rashid Ghazi, a deputy leader of the student movement, said: "They are behaving brutally. So far several of our students have been killed. The government is to be blamed."

Asked about the presence of armed students, Ghazi said: "They are our guards." He claimed the Rangers sparked the trouble by erecting barricades near the mosque. But Pakistani officials said it began when police moved to stop militant students occupying a government building.

Mahira, one of the female students, said in a phone call from the mosque: "Kill us. We will die but we will not back off from our demands to enforce Islamic Sharia."

As the shooting continued there was a loudspeaker announcement inside the mosque complex calling for suicide attacks on security forces.

"They have attacked our mosque, the time for sacrifice has come," it said. There was no immediate sign of such attacks being carried out.

The Pakistani government has so far refrained from using force against the mosque for fear of provoking suicide attacks.

Officials were also worried about potential casualties among female students.

But last Friday Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf, who has survived two Al Qaeda-inspired assassination attempts, said the government was ready to take action.

He said suicide bombers and militants from the Jaish-e-Mohammad group, which is linked to Al Qaeda, were inside the mosque.

Some clerics have accused Musharraf's intelligence agencies of encouraging the crisis to justify a state of emergency and prolong military rule. As darkness fell last night, city officials said a ceasefire had been agreed.

One soldier was killed in the standoff with these Islamist radical students

Fighting has continued throughout the day with Islamist students taking on security guards

15 Ways to Keep Your Brain in Shape

2007-07-02T09:05:00.001-07:00

These are 15 fun ideas that will increase your brain activity. It has been proven that the more exercise you give your brain the more it will grow and operate to new super levels. Are you striving to be more intelligent, more creative? Here’s a great platform on how you can achieve your goals.

15 Extra Ways to Keep Your Brain In Shape

“If you nurture your mind, body and spirit, your time will expand. You will gain a new perspective that will allow you to accomplish much more.”

- Brian Koslow

It’s simple, your brain is at the center of everything you do, all you feel and think, and every nuance of how you relate to people. It’s both the supercomputer that runs your complex life and the tender organ that houses your soul. So it is very important

to focus on keeping your brain in shape.

By regularly engaging in the right activities, you can increase your memory, improve your problem-solving skills and boost your creativity. Here are some extra tips on how to keep your brain in top nick.

1. Just stop.

“Take 20-30 minutes out of your day to think about nothing. But don’t sleep – you’ve got to meditate. Sit still, reduce sensory input, and try to focus your mind on something like a calm scene or a color (to begin with thinking about something rather than trying to think of ‘nothing’ is easier). A study at the University of Kentucky revealed that subjects who took a late-afternoon test after meditating for 30 minutes had better scores than those who napped for the same time.”

2. Hit the streets.

“Lace up your running shoes and get moving. A study from the University of Illinois, US, revealed that aerobic exercise actually increases brain volume. They put two groups through different regimens - one did aerobic training three times weekly for one hour; the other group did just stretching and toning exercise. The aerobics group had increased their brain volume and white matter, which forms the connections between neurons.”

3. Mix it up.

“Exercise has long been hailed as an aid to brain-power longevity. But to ensure you’re not leaving the gas on in your eighties, vary your workout routines now. Try changing things up on a regular basis and you’ll stimulate your brain more because you’re not using the same pathway over and over again.”

4. Read a book.

“Choose from classic literature, science fiction or personal development books and give your brain a boost. Pick up a novel before your next flight or vacation. On top of the cerebral benefits, the escapism that comes from reading can be very relaxing. Reading helps you exercise your cognitive skills and increase your vocabulary. Do it regularly and you’ll be amazed at the information you absorb, which will make you a more interesting conversationalist.”

5. One-cup-manship.

“Swilling coffee could be the perfect accompaniment to the cryptic crossword. Austrian researchers measuring brain activity found short-term memory and concentration improved after consuming 100mg of caffeine - equal to an Americano. But after 40 minutes those guinea pigs were back to the dumbness levels of a twice-a-day Deal Or No Deal viewer.”

6. Engage in a debate.

A lively discussion can be invigorating. As long as you avoid letting it digress into an argument, you can have a lot of fun debating the pros and cons of an issue with a friend or colleague. Playing with your brain stimulates blood flow and strengthens the connections (synapses) between nerve cells in the brain. You’ll practice your quick thinking skills, logic and creativity. And developing convincing theories on the spot will help you in your career and in your personal relationships.

7. Grab the Brainbox 360 controller.

“Believe it or not, playing certain video games can actually be good for your health. You’ll develop stronger visual skills and make decisions 85% faster than non-gamers, say experts from the University of Rochester, New York. Gamers can read the newspaper, recognize a scene or pick out facial features faster in between fragging killer aliens.”

8. Subscribe to a daily newsletter.

“Make the most out of your web surfing. Whether it’s a “word of the day,” “quote of the day” or “this day in history” newsletter, receiving new information each day will add data to the hard drive in your head. The mental stimulation will increase your comprehension skills. The additional knowledge will also make you sound more worldly and intelligent.”

9. Curry favours.

“Tuck into a Ruby Murray tonight to clear the mental cobwebs. Scientists from University of California discovered that curcumin – a yellow-coloured compound found in the curry spice turmeric can slow the onset of memory loss. Small doses of curry could also help protect the brain against Alzheimer’s disease - at least that’s the effect in rats. Curries with a yellow tinge will have the highest curcumin count.”

10. Grab a cue and play pool.

“Rack ‘em up, grab a cue and concentrate on your strategy. Billiard players must focus on the immediate, blocking out distractions as they plan their next moves. Strategic planning increases mental clarity. Concentrating on the immediate helps keep your mind sharp. Furthermore, this game of angles demands that players think in terms of physics, something most of us rarely do in our everyday lives. And it’s a brilliant way to pass the time.”

Read the full story and other 5 ways

Make Relationships More Fulfilling

2007-07-01T09:01:00.000-07:00

Are you searching for a way to make relationships more fulfilling? It doesn’t matter whether you’re thinking about sexual relationships, family matters, your friends or people you don’t even know . . .you can make relationships more fulfilling by simply adopting the right mindset and living your life to the full.

So many people don’t live their lives to the full extent and seem to be consumed with fear because they face the prospect of being hurt.

One saying that rings true in all aspects of life and especially powerful in relationships of all kinds is . . .

“A life lived in fear is a life half-lived”

Steve Pavlina in a great recent post illustrated this viewpoint excellently. He puts forward that the key to fulfilling relationships is to have empowered relationships without an ounce of fear.

Here’s what he has to share.
The mindset of empowered relationships

by Steve Pavlina

So what is the mindset that makes it so much easier to relate to people? Here it is in a nutshell:

Everyone you meet in your life — even total strangers — is already intimately connected to you. The idea that we are all separate and distinct beings is nothing but an illusion. We are all parts of a larger whole, like individual cells in a body.

Moreover, everyone and everything you see out there in your world are reflections of you. Just as the cells in an organism carry the same DNA, other people are walking around with some part of you inside them. When you look at other people, you’re really looking at yourself. When you notice other people, it’s just like your eyes observing your hands. We’re all parts of the same whole.

Here are some facets of this interconnected model of relationships:

* Oneness - Other people are not separate and distinct from you. In fact, they are you.
* Connectedness - You don’t have to “build” relationships with others because you’re already connected. You need only tune into the pre-existing connection that’s already there.
* No risk - Little or no courage is required to approach strangers. You’re never actually building new connections from scratch. You’re just recognizing what’s already there.
* Equality - You can feel just as close to total strangers as you do to your friends.
* Significance - All relationships are significant; none are irrelevant. Even the strangers you pass on the street are important parts of you.
* Love without attachment - Letting go of harmful relationships is easier because you’re still unconditionally connected to everyone else. As you release old relationships that no longer serve you, you’ll attract new ones that are compatible with you.

Initially I found this a totally alien mindset. It was only in seeing the results first-hand that I became a convert. Interestingly, I wasn’t into subjective reality when I first adopted this mindset, but this is in fact the subjective reality view of relationships in a nutshell.

One of the side effects of this mindset is that Erin and I are constantly meeting people through synchronicities… people we feel we were supposed to meet. I first read about these kinds of encounters in The Celestine Prophecy. When you have a certain mindset about relationships, you begin to attract the right people at the right times. That’s precisely how Erin and I met as well.

For example, Erin and I recently spent several days in Sedona, Arizona. This was the first time either of us had ever been to that city. One day we walked into a shop we’d never been to before, picked up a strong vibe from a total stranger, started talking, and 30 minutes later we had become friends and said goodbye with hugs. This woman also sent us a gift in the mail a week later to thank us for some guidance we gave her. For Erin and me, this has become an increasingly common event. And believe me — before I had this mindset I could never walk into some random store and expect to be hugging someone I’d never met only 30 minutes later.

I think the reason this mindset is so effective is that when you assume a pre-existing connection with another person, s/he will tend to respond in kind. Usually the best way to break the ice with someone is to assume there never was any ice to begin with.

I also like that this is an easy way to identify highly conscious people. The more conscious and self-aware someone is, the more easily and naturally they’ll respond to someone who relates to them as a real human being right off the bat.

Applying the empowering mindset

When you adopt the mindset that we’re all inherently connected, these are some of the actions and results that will come naturally to you:

* Easy rapport - You’ll connect with strangers almost as easily as you connect with your closest friends, sometimes more easily. The difference between strangers and friends is intellectual familiarity, but you can tap into an intuitive familiarity even with someone you’ve never met.
* Fairness - You’ll begin to feel a kinship with everyone, regardless of familiarity.
* Attraction - Because you’re always open to connecting with people, you’ll begin attracting new relationships fairly easily. Compatible people will be drawn to you.
* Synchronicity - You’ll experience a swell in synchronicities that lead to chance encounters, meeting people you feel very drawn to meet.
* Social courage - Have you ever seen someone at a distance you felt you were supposed to meet? Have you ever run into the same stranger multiple times in the same day? With the right belief system, you’ll feel confident beginning a conversation with such people, and you’ll find that your hunches were right on — you were supposed to meet.
* Deeper relationships - You’ll enjoy deeper, less superficial relationships, getting to know people at the level of soul.
* Energy - You’ll attract relationships that energize you rather than drain you.
* Reading people - Because we’re all connected, you can mentally connect with other people and literally share the same thoughts in a way that goes beyond words, voice, and body language. You can even do it at a distance. With practice you can get an accurate read on someone you’ve never met, picking up specific data about that person that you couldn’t have known in a purely objective sense. Practice increases both your accuracy and your ability to trust the information you pick up.

These benefits aren’t either-or. You gradually gain them as your awareness of our spiritual interconnectedness grows.

Fearless relationships

While you can get some of these benefits while still clinging to an objective model of relationships, I think it would be very difficult. The real key is removing fear from the equation. When you can relate to people without fear, which is a natural consequence of the belief that we’re all connected, then it becomes much easier to form deep connections with other human beings.

If you’ve been reading my articles for a while, you can probably guess that if you were to meet me in person, you wouldn’t have to begin a conversation with me by chatting about the weather. We could just talk soul-to-soul about anything, and you needn’t be afraid of me judging you because my belief is that you’re an integral and inseparable part of me. But that’s because you already know a lot about me and my mindset from reading my articles, so you already have some familiarity with me, and that reduces your social risk with me. However, the truth is that you can achieve the same level of rapport with a total stranger when you get an intuitive read that s/he will be receptive. Your social conditioning will cause you to focus on the fear of rejection, but with the mindset of interconnectedness, you’ll focus on the opportunities for connection instead.

My understanding is that the mindset of interconnectedness isn’t only more empowering than the objective mindset — it’s also more accurate. Our fundamental interconnectedness was one of the most empowering realizations I ever had… and also one of the most humbling. It keeps my ego in check to know that this Steve person I inhabit is just one cell in a much larger body. We all are. And the best we can do with our lives is to achieve the point of optimal balance whereby serving our own needs and serving the whole body are congruent. A body does not survive by sacrificing the cells that serve it, and a cell does not survive by sacrificing the body that hosts it.

Interdependence is a higher level of consciousness than independence. Fear serves the latter; fearlessness, the former.
Final Thought

I certainly echo Steve’s sentiments - you can make relationships more fulfilling if you get into the right mindset and eliminate any fear.

Why not follow the advice of Mark Twain and:

“Dance like nobody’s watching; love like you’ve never been hurt. Sing like nobody’s listening; live like it’s heaven on earth.”

China's largest sexual health education base in Zhejiang Hengdian open

2007-06-27T01:32:00.000-07:00

In Hengdian Group founder Hsu Wen-long lead, we visited the cultural Pavilion

　　China's thousands of years of traditional culture is the ugly nature of the culture, but, with the development of the times, ashamed to talk about the "nature" of the Chinese people, more and more attention to sexual health, the spread of knowledge and education. Recently, the "China Hollywood," a world-famous Hengdian, to create "the biggest sexual health education bases" still young, in an attempt to build a security people love nest.
　　
By the traditional culture and customs of the people in the "sex" has been attributed to the topic of discussion. the lack of effective sex education is the carrier and tools. And the lack of sex education, the most direct consequences of youth is the result of the lack of basic sexual and reproductive health knowledge, not only affects young people see the physiological and psychological, has also led to rising infection rates of sexually transmitted diseases, affecting social harmony.
　　
According to statistics, last year received official STD cases reported over the previous year increased by 30% 2. and the southeast coastal region of the province the number of cases of sexually transmitted diseases is the highest in the top of the country, particularly in Jiangsu, Guangdong, Zhejiang to the situation for most. "This status is urgently needed in the sexual health education to find a breakthrough. to guide the youth to establish a correct concept of sex "Hengdian Group founder Hsu Wen-lung told reporters. It is precisely this kind of a sense of social responsibility, Hengdian Societies Federation of economic enterprises into action, built China's largest sexual health education bases-Hengdian Valley scenic trail.
　　
　Entering the night of the trail valley, everywhere lanterns hanging high and was jubilant.。Hengdian economic associations chairman of the Hengdian Group founder Hsu Wen-long drama called "red-light district." "But this' red-light district 'NOT' red-light district '." Humor Hsu Wen-lung explained with a smile, the whole landscape covered with lanterns, To highlight is the health and harmony of love and marriage with rousing success.
　　
Reportedly, the entire area of focused sexual health education function, combining recreation and leisure activities, have Venus Plaza, screen display of high-tech entertainment, vacationing couples, emotional sea park entertainment venues, But the most notable is the cultural exhibition hall.The exhibition hall the size, content and displayed in the form of both domestic unique. According to Hsu Wen-lung on these data are national Centers for Disease Control and the Ministry of Health as the sole provider of internal information. Exhibition hall with more than 180 blocks and Maung Graphic display panels, with the help of a large number of real photographs and charts, stringent medical history information and detailed description of the modern scientific knowledge. And of these 51 all human silica STYLOMMATOPHORA who won the most, they show the true AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases clinical symptoms, give a strong visual impact and thought-provoking.Sexual culture exhibition hall also combine VCD video playback and other forms of display of STD prevention, adolescence, marriage period, menopausal sexual health and family planning publicity and education role.
　　
"It's enlightening, opening up today, sexual health education is very necessary. "a tourist site after the visit, his face solemn said, Each social responsibility of Chinese people should be aware of rational universal health knowledge of the importance of necessity and urgency.
　　
Love is a human emotion of a better expression, sexual civilization is the civilization of a society part healthy and progressive Hengdian Valley trail, to make up for a health education in sexual health knowledge of the lack of education, to review or inspection by the Ministry of Health Centers for Disease Control and China STD and AIDS Prevention Association, and other departments, the leaders and experts, to give full recognition to and highly appreciated.
　　
Scenic open, visitors stream, not only will many enterprises, unit staff to receive education, its schools for young adolescent health education classes.
　　
Relevant experts believe that China's largest sexual health education bases for the establishment of China will greatly promote sexual health education, for the entire society to establish a correct attitude towards sex, that people begin to truly enjoy the health and safety of our human emotion one of the better sex.

Naked Gardeners open up for the public

2007-06-26T11:48:00.000-07:00

When Ian and Barbara Pollard let it be known that they enjoyed gardening in the nude, they attracted a fair amount of coverage.

What they didn't expect, however, was to discover that their enthusiasm for clothes-free horticulture was shared by so many others.

So much so that the Pollards now hold special naturist open days at their highly acclaimed five-acre garden in Wiltshire. On Sunday, they had about 350 visitors, with about 300 disrobing.

Word spread of the couple's stripped-down approach after Mr Pollard, 61, and his 54-year-old wife appeared on the BBC show Gardeners' World.

Since then they have been inundated with requests from other naturists asking if they can visit their Abbey House Gardens in Malmesbury, which is open to the public from March to October, and stroll around in the way nature intended.

Mr Pollard, an architect, said: "At first I said no because we would be responsible for their behaviour. But in the end we were having so many inquiries we thought why not have set days when they can do it?

"So we started what we call our 'clothes-optional days'. That was three years ago. This year we are having six 'clothes-optional days', our most ever. The next is on June 17."

Mr Pollard said naked gardening is no more dangerous than gardening fully clothed.

"Waving sharp implements around is just as dangerous if you have trousers on or not," he said.

Masturbation never indicates dysfunctional relationship

2007-06-17T11:04:00.001-07:00

Not all the myths concern legendary heroes and heroines of ancient Greece. Quite a few of them have to do with various aspects of sexual relationships. Although the myths are completely unsubstantiated, lots of people are still buying them as guidelines for their exploits between the sheets. Sexologists and psychotherapists are amazed at what some people still believe about sex. Let us expose the myths once again and forget them for good.

Recurrent male masturbation during a steady relationship indicates a dysfunctional relationship Some men give up masturbating once they form a stable relationship with a representative of the opposite sex. Playing with oneself becomes history for this category of men. On the contrary, others just cannot get out of the habit. Both cases are normal. To some extent, masturbation can be seen as a substitute for sex with a real partner. The practice is completely innocuous, by and large. Sometimes it can even enhance sex a man has with his regular partner.

A woman cannot get pregnant during her period

It is also alleged that a woman cannot get pregnant during her defloration or if she has sex while standing up or she practices a vaginal douche (using vinegar or other acidiferous liquids) upon the sexual intercourse. The assertions are complete bull. In actuality, there is a chance that a woman can get pregnant during her period, particularly towards the end of her menstrual period. Besides, unprotected sex increases the risk infection by sexually transmitted diseases.

Ejaculation-free sex is extremely beneficial to men’s health

Advocates of various Eastern teachings are confident that practicing sexual abstinence or sex without ejaculation, for that matter, can only have a beneficial effect on men’s health. The ancient Chinese asserted that longevity of men would greatly extend if the latter lived a life completely devoid of sex. However, the male physiology proves the assertion totally wrong. Urologists are certain men must have sex at least two times a week. Sex is the best way of preventing prostatitis or the prostate gland adenoma. Recent scientific studies have shown that men who have sex on a regular basis live longer than those who are deprived of this form of sensual enjoyment. Many believe than sexual arousal in men should occur unfailingly at all times and almost instantaneously. In reality, it does not happen like this. It is the norm for sexual arousal to build up gradually. It can lessen and intensify once again as sexual interaction proceeds. The stages are dependent on many factors. Even if a man fails to keep it up steady for a short period of time during the intercourse, he may doubt his virility or his woman may have doubts about her own sexual performance. The fears related to the experience often evolve into an auto-suggestion shared by both parties. If the above start to panic or cut their sexual congress short because they can “feel” that their physical response to it is weaker than expected, they are unlikely to succeed in achieving any sexual gratification

Any kind of orgasm is always a mind-blowing experience

It is totally wrong to suggest that different people experience an orgasm in a similar way i.e. invariably huge and deeply intense, akin to the eruption of a volcano in one’s system. In fact, it is one of the commonest misconceptions.

Different people experience the climax of sexual excitement differently. Moreover, an individual’s orgasmic experience can run the gamut of pleasurable sensations depending on the circumstances. Sometimes it feels like stars crashing, it can put one in a frenzy of utter joy. In other cases, the climax bursts into the warm waves of ecstasy running gently through the body back and forth. The differences depend on the variability of sensations which accompany sexual interaction. Other factors e.g. the amount of time that has passed since the last orgasm took place, the partners’ physical and emotional condition, their attitude towards each other etc. play a vital role.

Orgasm is always obvious when it occurs in men

A male orgasm and ejaculation is not the same thing though in most men the former occurs simultaneously with the latter. Orgasm is the sudden rhythmic contractions of the muscles in the genital and pelvic area in both sexes. The contractions effectively relieve a buildup of sexual tension and psychological sensations related hereto. Ejaculation is the discharge of semen from the erect penis at the moment of orgasm in the male. However, ejaculation may occur without the sexual climax. Prepubescent boys may often experience orgasm without ejaculating. The same may occur in men who have pathologies of the prostate gland or take certain medicines. Patients diagnosed with certain neurological conditions may ejaculate without achieving orgasm.

A clitoral orgasm means the second-class orgasm

The myth about the inferiority of a clitoral orgasm was originated by Sigmund Freud. Freud believed that women could experience an orgasm of two types, either a clitoral orgasm or a vaginal one. According to him, a woman can experience a clitoral orgasm by stimulating her clitoris without engaging in the sexual intercourse. A clitoral orgasm indicates psychological immaturity, concluded Freud. On the contrary, he viewed a vaginal orgasm resulting from the sexual intercourse as the sign of maturity. In terms of physiology, an orgasm brought out by the stimulation of the clitoris does not differ from the one that occurs in the process of sexual intercourse. However, the two types of orgasm do vary when it comes to intensity and degrees of sexual satisfaction achieved thereupon. The pleasurable sensations and their intensity depend on the level of one’s perception, while a number of factors contribute to the degree of satisfaction.

Rare giant manta born at Japan aquarium

2007-06-17T07:35:00.000-07:00

TOKYO - What is believed to be the first giant manta ray born in captivity has arrived at a southern Japanese aquarium, the facility said Sunday.

The baby manta, a female, was born late Saturday in a huge fish tank at the Okinawa Churaumi Aquarium, more than a year after its parents mated, the aquarium said in a statement posted Sunday on its Web site.

In a video capturing the birth, the baby manta, rolled up like a tube, came sliding out of the mother manta, then quickly spread its fins and began swimming around.

The scene, recorded by the aquarium, was broadcast by national broadcaster NHK on Sunday.

The event marks the first birth of a manta in captivity, according to the aquarium, which started raising manta rays in 1988.

Noriyasu Suzuki, an official at the Izu-Mito Sea Paradise commercial aqua zoo in western Japan, said he thought the birth in captivity could be a world first.

"I've never heard of any other case before," he said. "Aquariums that raise manta rays are rare to begin with ... because they get so big."

According to the aquarium, the newborn manta was more than six feet wide.

The mother manta, which was brought to the aquarium in 1998 after hitting a fishnet off the southern island of Okinawa, about 1,000 miles southwest of Tokyo, mated with its partner on June 8, 2006, and was pregnant with the baby for 374 days, according to the statement.

Aquarium official Minoru Toda said little has been known about the life of manta rays, and the record of pregnancy and the birth would provide valuable scientific data to the studies of the species.

"We unfolded some of the mysteries about the life of manta rays, including the length of their pregnancy," Toda said. "Now we have to make sure the baby grows in good health."

students invent alcohol powder

2007-06-11T08:16:00.000-07:00

Just add water - students invent alcohol powder

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - Dutch students have developed powdered alcohol which they say can be sold legally to minors.

The latest innovation in inebriation, called Booz2Go, is available in 20-gramme packets that cost 1-1.5 euros ($1.35-$2).

Top it up with water and you have a bubbly, lime-colored and -flavored drink with just 3 percent alcohol content.

"We are aiming for the youth market. They are really more into it because you can compare it with Bacardi-mixed drinks," 20-year-old Harm van Elderen told Reuters.

Van Elderen and four classmates at Helicon Vocational Institute, about an hour's drive from Amsterdam, came up with the idea as part of their final-year project.

"Because the alcohol is not in liquid form, we can sell it to people below 16," said project member Martyn van Nierop.

The legal age for drinking alcohol and smoking is 16 in the Netherlands.

In Germany, alcopops -- sweet drinks containing alcohol and in powder form -- caused quite a stir when launched on to the market. Alcohol powder, classified as a flavoring, was sold in the United States three years ago.

The students said companies interested in making the product commercially could avoid taxes because the alcohol was in powder form. A number of companies are interested, they said.

Source:- Just add water - students invent alcohol powder

What Men Really Want

2007-06-09T09:39:00.000-07:00

Books abound, television shows focus on it, and it is the question that every woman asks herself, “What do men really want?”

Studies and surveys have led to the top two answers to this question, "Sex and Respect". Yes, it’s true. Men want plenty of sex and they seek the respect of their partners. This is in contrast to women who primarily desire love and affection.

When it comes right down to it, men get a bad rap. They are often depicted as sex crazed party animals that have no level or desire of commitment, and this simply isn’t the truth. There are many men who seek out a monogamous relationship and are just waiting for the perfect woman to enter the picture. Does this mean that the "perfect" woman is a human Barbie Doll? According to current studies - no. Studies have shown that men are more interested in a woman that is committed to them, respects them, and validates their worth more than a meaningless tryst with a perfect "ten".

Of course men are attracted to a woman by her physical appearance and that is a main component to the relationship, but as any man in a relationship can tell you, looks wear thin after time and when it comes down to it, personality can make or break a relationship. Men want to be treated with respect and to know that they are appreciated and valued by their partners.

Many women are also surprised to discover that men need love. Often, acts of love, verbal affirmations, and the like are typically reserved for the female and often neglected when it comes to the man. Typically, he is the strong, dominant, tough one in the relationship, so women often neglect to tell or show him how much she loves him. However, many men have stated that this is a strong need that they have. Men need love just as much as women do. They need to hear it, they need to see it demonstrated in actions, and they need to feel it. Now, obviously this is where men’s number one need comes in – sex.

There is no getting around it. The number one way to show a man that his partner loves him is through sex. It is often ironic that women can go without sex much longer than a man, and never realize that he is suffering and feeling unloved. It is a wise woman who realizes that her man equates sex with love and understands that when she withholds sex, she is essentially telling him that she no longer loves, respects, or validates him. It is also easy to understand why men stray when they begin to feel that this area of their relationship is lacking.

It isn’t necessarily that they feel they need a prettier woman, one with a better body, or more money. They are looking for love, because from the man’s point of view, without sex the love is gone. When a woman withholds sex from her partner, she is essentially entering into territory where the future of her entire relationship is being threatened.

If you truly love, respect, and validate your partner, communicate honestly with him. Never use sex as a weapon against him. Openly discuss issues as soon as they arise and give your man the respect he deserves, respect him enough to work things out without using sex to punish him. By keeping open communication with your partner, and discussing issues as soon as they arise, you can be sure that you will be giving your man what he really wants.

18,000 nudes in Mexico City

2007-06-08T15:35:00.000-07:00

It’s not easy to gather 1,000 people at any place. Sure enough, you get tens of thousands of people at big events such as a big concert or a major sports event. But, have you heard of 18,000 people getting naked at the same time at the same place? That must be a marvelous and historical scene! I know what you are thinking… no way, that’s impossible. There is no way to get so many people naked at the same time! Too ridiculous!
However, believe it or not, that’s exactly what New York photographic artist Spencer Tunick just did. He is best known for staging photos with hundreds, or often thousands of naked people in public settings.
unick, who has amazed many by staging mass nude photo shoots in cities from Dusseldorf, Germany, to Caracas, broke his previous record of 7,000 volunteers set in 2003 in Barcelona, Spain. On Sunday he managed to enticed more than 18,000 Mexicans to pose naked in the Mexico City’s Zocalo square, the heart of the ancient Aztec empire.

Spencer Tunick’s next large scale nude shoot will be on June 23rd in Amsterdam. Have you booked a ticket to Amsterdam?

amazing in the worb on fetal surgery

2007-06-04T11:00:00.000-07:00

A picture began circulating in November. It should be "The Picture of the Year," or perhaps, "Picture of the Decade." It won't be. In fact, unless you obtained a copy of the US paper which published it, you probably will never see it. The picture is that of a 21-week-old unborn baby named Samuel Alexander Armas, who is being operated on by a surgeon named Joseph Bruner. The baby was diagnosed with spina bifida and would not survive if removed from his mother's womb. Little Samuel's mother, Julie Armas, is an obstetrics nurse in Atlanta. She knew of Dr. Bruner's remarkable surgical procedure. Practicing at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville, he performs these special operations while the baby is still in the womb.

During the procedure, the doctor removes the uterus via C-section and makes a small incision to operate on the baby. As Dr. Bruner completed the surgery on little Samuel, the little guy reached his tiny, but fully developed, hand through the incision and firmly grasped the surgeon's finger. In a Time Europe article highlighting new pregnancy imagery that show the formation of major organs and other significant evidence of the formation of human life but a few days after conception, Dr. Bruner was reported as saying that when his finger was grasped, it was the most emotional moment of his life, and that for an instant during the procedure he was just frozen, totally immobile. The photograph captures this amazing event with perfect clarity. The editors titled the picture, "Hand of Hope."

The text explaining the picture begins, "The tiny hand of 21-week-old fetus Samuel Alexander Armas emerges from the mother's uterus to grasp the finger of Dr. Joseph Bruner as if thanking the doctor for the gift of life."

Little Samuel's mother said they "wept for days" when they saw the picture. She said, "The photo reminds us a pregnancy isn't about disability or an illness, it's about a little person." Samuel was born in perfect health, the operation 100 per cent successful. Now see the actual picture, and it is awesome ... incredible.

Origins: The image accompanying the text quoted above is real in the sense that it is indeed a photograph taken during a revolutionary fetal procedure undertaken on 19 August 1999
to fix the spina bifida lesion of a 21-week-old fetus in the womb. The operation was performed by a surgical team at Vanderbilt University in Nashville which developed a technique for correcting fetal problems in mid-pregnancy by temporarily removing the uterus, draining the amniotic fluid, performing surgery on the tiny fetus, then restoring the uterus back inside the mother. The patient shown above, Samuel Armas, was the 54th fetus operated on by the surgical team; Dr. Joseph Bruner, the surgeon whose hands are pictured above, alleviated the effects of the opening in Samuel's spine caused by the spina bifida, a congenital disease that often leads to paralysis and other problems. Pictures from the surgery were printed in a number of newspapers in the U.S. and around the world, including USA Today, and thanks to the remarkable surgical procedure performed by the Nashville team little Samuel was born healthy on 2 December 1999.

However, it is not true, as described in the accompanying text, that these photographs were taken as Samuel's hand "emerged from the mother's uterus to grasp the finger of Dr. Joseph Bruner as if thanking the doctor for the gift of life," or that Dr. Bruner said "when his finger was grasped, it was the most emotional moment of his life." This misinformation has been propagated by many different sources, including the Michael Clancy, the photographer who snapped the pictures:
As a doctor asked me what speed of film I was using, out of the corner of my eye I saw the uterus shake, but no one's hands were near it. It was shaking from within. Suddenly, an entire arm thrust out of the opening, then pulled back until just a little hand was showing. The doctor reached over and lifted the hand, which reacted and squeezed the doctor's finger. As if testing for strength, the doctor shook the tiny fist. Samuel held firm. I took the picture! Wow! It happened so fast that the nurse standing next to me asked, "What happened?"

"The child reached out," I said.

"Oh. They do that all the time," she responded.1
What actually took place, as described in news reports of the surgery, was that:
[J]ust as surgeon Dr. Joseph Bruner was closing the incision in Julie Armas' uterus, Samuel's thumbnail-sized hand flopped out. Bruner lifted it gently and tucked it back in.2
(The dubious veracity of the photographer's version of events is highlighted by the disclaimer he appended to it on his web site, stating that it represented his "opinion of the events as they took place during the surgery for Samuel.")

The surgeon, Dr. Bruner, later elaborated on some of the exaggerated and false claims made about the photograph:
"It has become an urban legend," says Bruner, the Vanderbilt University surgeon who fixed the spina bifida lesion on Samuel. Many people he hears from wonder whether it's a fake.

"One person said the photo had been reviewed by a team of medical experts and they had determined that it was a hoax," Bruner says with a laugh.

More commonly, people want to know how the photo came to be.

Some opponents of abortion have claimed that the baby reached through the womb and grabbed the doctor's hand.

Not true, Bruner says.

Samuel and his mother, Julie, were under anesthesia and could not move.

"The baby did not reach out," Bruner says. "The baby was anesthetized. The baby was not aware of what was going on."3

SOUTH AFRICAN ANTI-RAPE CONDOM

2007-06-03T02:14:00.000-07:00

The adage "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" has taken on new meaning.

And with the RapeX anti-rape female condom, that pound is coming out of somebody's johnson.

RapeX is a female condom that damages a rapist's penis after penetration with sharp microscopic barbs that hook into the skin.

After the man is incapacitated, this ostensibly gives the woman time to escape. The condom can only be surgically removed (thereby catching the perp redhanded), but supposedly will not cause major damage if removed immediately.
Invented by Sonette Ehlers, a blood technician at the South African Institute for Medical Research, RapeX has been in existence since August 2005 and is to be inserted and worn when a woman is "on a train, working late, going out on a date with someone you don't know too well, going to clubs, or in any situation that you might not feel comfortable or even just not sure."

Rape plays a significant role in the high prevalence of HIV among women in South Africa.
South Africa is a country hardest hit by AIDS, a lot of which is fueled by an epidemic of rape: In a 2006 study of 1,370 South African men, nearly 20% revealed that they had raped a woman (and these are the ones ADMITTING it!)
By the end of 2005, there were five and a half million people living with HIV in South Africa, and almost 1,000 AIDS deaths occurring every day.

Ehlers, who has been working with rape victims for over 20 years, said that she got the idea from a combination of a young woman raped who said "If only I had teeth down there," and hearing about a young man admitted to a hospital for getting his penis caught in his trouser zipper and the excruciating pain.

RapeX is currently not available commercially, but the Web site says it should be available soon, and would retail for a little more than a regular condom.

Women use smoking to attract men's

2007-05-30T02:27:00.000-07:00

Women use smoking to attract men's attention to their fragile nature

It is high noon. I am enjoying a cup of coffee in one of Moscow’s ubiquitous coffee shops. I cannot but take a look at a woman seated a table away from me. The woman sips at her coffee, gazing pensively at the window. She wears a dab of makeup on her face, and her outfit looks like a perfect example of office dress code. Her hairdo is impeccably neat to top off the picture. And she has an imperious air about her. I seem to know the reason why she looks this way: a cigarette is stuck in her hand. The woman puffs on her cigarette as if she is trying to reveal some mystery to me. Looks like she is taking a deep drag on her cigarette to send me an invitation: follow along with me. I am trying to breathe softly so that the idyll can not be broken to smithereens. Finally, I just cannot help giving way to the temptation…

Why on earth do women smoke? The attitude to a woman who smokes was invariably negative in the past. That attitude seems to have changed as capitalism took shape in this country. According to statistics, about 20% of Russian women aged from 18 to 35 are smokers. It would be preposterous to tell off women for smoking these days. “Smoking is a conscious choice of an adult person,” or so the say.

A cigarette in a woman’s hand has begun to symbolize a certain air of success, mystery, and true femininity though the last part of the statement seems a bit far-fetched. A woman smoker is a like-minded person in the eyes of a man who is a smoker too. This kind of woman would not make a scene over the ashtray in a bedroom. Please do not get me wrong – by no means am I encouraging women to fall into the habit of smoking. I am just trying to form an objective judgment. Let us take a closer look at female smoking as a means for showing off a woman smoker to advantage.

Female smoking looks very much like some kind of a ritual. A woman puffs at her cigarette to weave up a smoky disguise for the gamut of glances and gazes. A woman’s individuality can be brought to light if you pay attention to the way she inhales on her cigarette and exhales smoke. A woman is apparently in the state of confusion or she is eagerly awaiting something if she inhales rather abruptly and sends the smoke out right away. A woman must be in a thoughtful mood if you can see her cigarette sitting unattended in an ashtray, slowly burning away. You had better watch out if a woman seated at your table keeps her mouth open while exhaling smoke. The woman seems to let the smoke pour out freely. The woman is definitely on the make, and you may end up trapped in her net.

A woman’s character traits and emotions can be revealed through the way she shakes the ash off her cigarette. An intermittent and somewhat fidgety manner of dropping aches indicates a current state of uncertainty or general nervousness. A woman who looks at her hand while tapping on the cigarette with an index finger is most likely to be no stranger to sophisticated sensuality.
A woman of strong character is expected to “rub off” her cigarette against the ashtray.

You can learn a thing or two about a woman who asks you for a light. A woman with lots of self-esteem will never bow her head if you hold out the lighter too low for her. A “man-hater” will take the lighter from your hand. A woman who is dominated by her mother is likely to bend her head for your lighter. A woman with a sensual personality will curl up her lips and blow out the smoke in wisps, whereas a woman with a mannish personality will barely hold up the cigarette to the corner of her lips when inhaling.

On the whole, women can use smoking as a tactic for attracting men and/or giving them the green light. A woman’s mannerisms are less ostentatious when she smokes for the sake of smoking. She just puffs on her cigarette while gazing out the window.

It is a different story when a woman lights up a cigarette for the benefit of men, she does it for effect. A woman starts going through noticeable changes once a man within reach of her vision takes her fancy.

The woman may be unaware of the changes but they do happen anyway. She will straighten out her back and cross her legs. And she will have that look in her eyes, an odd combination of aloofness and coquetry. The woman will use her cigarette as a handy tool for showing off her refined manners and graceful gesticulation. A show goes under way. Cigarette smoke floats through the air as the orange eye of a cigarette is glowing softly in the ashtray – can the above be the signs of real beauty and the embodiment of our time?

Many a time I found myself staring at the women who had cigarettes in their hands. To be honest, I like staring at pretty women without cigarettes too. As far as I am concerned, a woman and a cigarette agree like whisky and soda. A woman looks sexier with a cigarette in her hand or mouth, for that matter. Smoking is just another way of exhibiting a woman’s fine hands, beautiful lips and a flair for perfect makeup. The method is rather simple yet it works.

Sex Snow Sculptures and History

2007-05-30T02:22:00.000-07:00

Did people do this 2,000 years ago? No, not have sex you idiot, I'm talking about dirty snow sculptures. History leaves out a lot of these kinds of details, like who penned the first fart gag.
Did people in ancient Greece write their buddy's names and phone number on the bathroom stall as a gag? Of course not, they didn't have telephones back then, but I guess you could have used their stone mail address.

I wonder...how did the Great Pyramid become the best one. I would imagine the conversation going something like this:

“You know Pharaoh, we could poll people and find out which pyramid truly is the best.” stated the assistant.
“How would we do that?” asked the Pharaoh.
“The internet silly” replied the assistant.

Of course that was the last thing the assistant said. He was killed for talking about something that didn’t exist. Ok, I’m kidding, the Pharaoh whacked him for calling him silly.

What about the jokes? One Phoenician is walking down the street, stops another and says “what’s that on your toga?”, then places the pointing finger on the person’s chest. I think you get where this one goes. Who knows when this old gag started out but I’m guessing it was before the age of napkins.

Did racial or religious jokes exist back then? “Hey Ferdinand did you hear the one about the Jew, the Catholic, and the Inquisition? Man, it’s a killer!” Judging from how history has played out, I’m going to bet the farm that we have always done this.

That same history we were taught in school didn’t answer any questions either. We learned that the past was a magical time of dragons and everyone was happily farming. In other places giant people wore togas and meet in big buildings to decide on things. Then they would pick Christians up and eat them like animal crackers, legs first so they don't run away. Meanwhile, a man named after a cartoon character wrote two parts of a trilogy but tragically died before the third installment could be written.

Men can do without sex for three weeks only

2007-05-27T00:44:00.000-07:00

Sexual abstinence can help woman get her act together

Surveys conducted on the Internet found that men (mostly single ones) can do without sex for three weeks at a maximum. Their abstinence limits tend to crumble once they down four brandies and spot a busty blond in a bar. The poll found that married men can show greater patience when it comes to sexual abstinence – yet another piece of evidence indicating that a family can be a good influence on men’s health.

Women are said to be capable of forgoing sex for a much longer period. However, the word “ability” does not seem to belong here. In most cases, women have to do without sex, for a number of reasons. That is why the quality of sex has priority over its quantity for us. Speaking of sexual abstinence, the question is: Is it really an awful thing?

All of us have heard about the beneficial effects of sex on our well-being. Engaging in sexual activities can raise endorphins levels and improve flexibility; it is positively enriching, includes mutually pleasurable experiences, and enhances self-determination, communication, and relationships. Every second thousands of people read and write about sex and sex-related subjects.

Sex is all the rage; there is no doubt about it. Sex seems to be the hottest item in a large variety of periodicals and web sites. All that fuss about sex may get you to form the impression that having quality sex with some dream lover on a daily basis is today’s norm. Likewise, you should not feel bored or ashamed when having sex. And you are supposed to do your utmost and become a perfect partner. Any deviations from the above goals should be seen as signs of abnormality. However, it is easy to set things to rights by following recommendations you can find in an article, book, video etc.

“There’s nothing I can do about it, that’s the way I am,” you sigh right after confessing that there are some other interests in your life apart from sex. Perhaps you would be amazed to find out that the majority of women belong to the same category, the one that supposedly lags behind when it comes to “the norm.” In actuality, there is no “norm” at all. On the other hand, there is definitely something that is called a fad.

Complete abstinence from all sexual activity and sexual relations over a long period of time will not do any good to the majority of women. It is true that we need sex so that we can experience the pleasures and emotions it can provide. The desire is perfectly normal and natural. Yet the idea of having sex as much as one can stems from lots of hype on the part of those interested in putting a spin on the subject. You will soon end up dreaming of pickles if you live on a diet of pastries and chocolates.

Any religious practice, any ancient theory concerning sexual relationship makes reference to a period of sexual abstinence. We are not necessarily referring to Lent or an annual season of fasting that exists in many Christian churches. In fact, the Christian religion takes a rather austere stand on sexual relations. One of the ancient Arab love manuals contains guidelines and instructions for a couple to follow during a 10-day period of sexual activity. Once the period draws to a close, it will be followed by a new cycle.

You must have read that fasting as a religious observance can do you good. It can help your body to get rid of unwanted toxins and waste. Not unlike a period of not eating food, a period of sexual abstinence can have a beneficial effect on your body and your mind. Absence makes the heart grow fonder as the old saying goes.

A period of keeping yourself from enjoyment of something is an excellent opportunity for you to pause and have some rest. You get a chance to look back at things that happened to you of late. You probably have to look into the situation in detail so as to identify causes of your stoppage in case you were forced to do it. It is a chance to check the directions and look around.

Some of those who have gone or go without sex claim that a sex-free life feels great. You do not have to worry about the continual search for a partner. You could not care less if you look sexy or not. You do not cry in agony thinking about the absence of orgasm. Your emotional state and your self-esteem are not dependent on your sex life or a lack of it for that matter. In other words, you can sublimate you sex drive into creative activity.

The above description of a life devoid of sex does not mean that you should forgo sexual activity in an attempt to experience some new sensations. You can also get pleasure out of living a life in which sexual relations play an important role, otherwise we would be stressed-out at all times or humankind would cease to exist. There are two important things we would like to stress at this point.

First, you should banish the following thoughts: “I don’t have sex, and therefore there’s something wrong about me. I look ugly; I’m not sexy at all…” You had better see the lack of sex as an opportunity (you can figure out what kind of opportunity it should be).

Second, all things must pass. It is up to you to decide how you are going to pass your time of sexual abstinence. No doubt about it, a long period of sexual abstinence cannot do you good in terms of health, emotional state and looks. However, fooling around for the sake of “health factors and marketability” or eating tons of chocolate to fill the gap is hardly a good influence on our well-being either.

Let us face our problems with maturity. You can always tell yourself something like: “That’s right. I do not have any sex life at the moments. But things are going to change. I can do whatever it takes to change the situation if I want to.” Chocolate is, without doubt, a delicious thing. However, a relish for chocolate may put off your “comeback to big sex” because you will put on weight and your self-esteem will be lowered as a result.

You can postpone your sexual revival until the day when you look beautiful, smell gorgeous, and know everything about that crazy little thing called love. Alternatively, you can disregard your complexes and try to fix your private life today. You can either complain about the problems to your husband as you lay in bed or start searching for solutions.

Source:-Pravda

Guy carrying a ton of eggs

2007-05-19T12:48:00.000-07:00

My baby only has half a brain

2007-05-18T03:41:00.001-07:00

Smiling in her mother's arms, little Chase Smith seems like a typical toddler. But the cherubic youngster is different in one important way...she was born with half her brain missing.

The condition is so rare there are only a few known cases in the world.

"The shock and terror I felt is hard to describe as I struggled to take in the harsh truth - the left-hand side of Chase's brain was completely missing," mother Stephanie Jepson said.

"There was just a big black space while the other half looked perfectly normal."

Scroll down for more...

Chase was born weighing 8lb 1oz in December 2004. Her parents, Stephanie, 21 and partner Adam Smith, 20 who works as a plasterer, moved to Barnsley soon after the birth.

"We just couldn't believe how beautiful she was," Stephanie said.

"She was the dream child from the beginning. She was really cuddly and docile."

But they soon realised something was wrong when the tot had trouble moving her right arm and hand.

"When she was seven months, I noticed her right arm wasn't moving very much and her right hand was always in a fist. I told the health visitor and she though it might just be what is known as a 'lazy arm'," Ms Jepson told The Sun.

After Chase was referred to a physiotherapist they discovered that her right leg wasn't responding correctly either. She was diagnosed with Hemiplegia - with symptoms similar to a stroke victim.

Scroll down for more...

After a six-month wait Chase was booked in for a brain scan at Sheffield Children's Hospital. Six weeks later, Stephanie and Adam returned for the results.

"I could see the doctor's lips moving, and her telling me my child had half a brain, but it just wouldn't sink in," Stephanie said.

"It was only when she put the scan X-rays up that I grasped it. One side was just empty."

The condition, called bilateral schizencephaly, is so rare that doctors admit they don't know how Chase will develop.

"She might never walk, talk or do most things we take for granted," Sophie said.

"But she is such a strong character that I know she can accomplish anything she wants. She has a way of shuffling to get to where she wants to go.

"She is so happy playing with the other kids and is the cuddliest and most loving little girl ever, with an incredible smile."

Sophie is optimistic about Chase's future and plans to have more children. There is some evidence which shows a developing brain can compensate for the areas missing.

"I know people will find this hard to believe but I wouldn't change a thing in our lives - Chase is a blessing," Sophie said.

"She has changed our lives and made us a much stronger family. Every day we are just thankful that she was given to us."

source:- Dailymail

contest between a father and his small child

2007-05-13T02:22:00.000-07:00

Some funny lines

2007-04-23T11:13:00.000-07:00

Some funny lines

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

********

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

********

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

********

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

********

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

********

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

********

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

********

DISCUSSION T! ECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

********

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

*******

Advertising overview On Srcap

2007-04-22T22:39:00.000-07:00

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